Kimberly Steele

I have always been oversensitive.  At nearly half a century old, my hearing is still good enough to require earplugs when I sleep.  When I was a child, I was plagued by oversensitivity.  Overstimulation with too much loud noise or stress causes me to break down or have a panic attack.  This happened reliably in episodes throughout school and young adulthood.  When I am in crowds, I am bombarded by the moods and thoughts of those around me.  I cannot read them exactly, but I can get a fair enough idea.  This phenomenon used to make any public school or crowded shopping center into a living hell, depending on the day.  I say "used to" because approximately six years ago, I took up the Sphere of Protection as a daily practice.  At the time of this writing, I have missed doing the SoP only one day, and that was the day I rescued my deceased aunt's cats from her home.  I have no problem with commitment; if anything, my tendency is to overcommit, which is why I refused to have children in this lifetime.

A Dime a Dozen

Oversensitivity may make me sound as if I am a special snowflake but actually it is as common as dirt.  Lots of people dress up their oversensitivity by calling themselves empaths, star children, sensitives, or psychics.  The only difference between a self-professed empath and the average Jane is awareness of the condition.  Many people refuse to acknowledge their own psychic tendencies as a matter of pride: there are plenty of religious people who close themselves to any messaging from the subtle planes with the enthusiasm of a hack plastic surgeon wielding a liposuction cannula.  They do this so they can practice idolatry and stuff themselves to the gills with holy book quotes to use in imaginary and real debates.  Even more common are the people who embrace addiction in order to escape awareness of the spirit worlds.  The resulting imbalance is a shift from the pole of oversensitivity to the equally bad opposite of undersensitivity.  Lepers are undersensitive.  The nerve damage caused by the mycobacterium leprae dulls the senses until the extremities such as fingers and nose become useless and fall off.  To be psychically oversensitive is like having no skin and to be psychically undersensitive is like having leprosy.

The Age of Ick

For me, the Sphere of Protection, along with discursive meditation and daily divination, creates a thick and formidable barrier between me and the psychic onslaught of our demonic age.  As I have mentioned in a previous essay, we live in an era that Incans tried to deliberately take an incarnation hiatus from.  Our materialist era is ruled by demons and overrun by them: they're having a field day.  There are an uncanny number of leaders from major religions who give lip service to fighting demons while taking every action to be exactly like them, from Joel Osteen in his mega-mansions shutting out the flood victims from his mega church to the local Buddhist center that forces little kids to wear Satanic symbols on their faces so adults can soothe themselves with fear porn fairy tales that MRNA clot shots are safe and effective.  

The Physical

The first line of psychic self-defense is physical.  Psychic balance is often dependent on a stable blood sugar level.  Just as I become hangry (portmanteau of the words hungry and angry) and lightheaded when I skip meals, my oversensitivity gets out of whack.  I am much more likely to have an overstimulation panic attack if I have not eaten well or if my blood sugar is too high or too low.  For this reason, becoming a vegan in 2010 helped me balance out much of my oversensitivity because it stabilized my digestion and regulated my blood sugar.  When I was a child, I often went without eating until I was lightheaded and dizzy, especially in the mornings because my body does not do well with breakfast.  I get nauseous if I eat a large meal within two hours of getting up and I become ravenous by 1pm regardless of whether or not I have eaten breakfast.  My blood sugar was a roller coaster ride by the time I was sixteen, so it is no wonder I was suicidally depressed by that point.  The cure for me was regular small meals and loads of fiber from fruit and vegetables.  

Physical surroundings absolutely affect your psychic state.  If your living space is cluttered and trashed, your brain just might reflect the same conditions.  Making my bed and straightening my living quarters goes a long way in pushing the chaos of modern life to a distant periphery.  At least once a week I try to spend some time at the forest preserve.  The Japanese call this practice shirin-yoku or forest bathing.  Just as the term would imply, forest bathing removes lots of psychic gunk and gives you a fresh, clean astral body.  As a native Midwesterner, I find great solace from prairies and woodlands.  The spirit of the land here is among my greatest comforts.  For others, the best places on earth may be mountains, lake shores, or oceans.  

The Astral

At the risk of being too obvious, I'll make mention that the people around you affect your psychic state.  If you have no choice but to be around toxic people -- say you live with your parents and they're awful but you love them because they're your mother and father after all -- the next best alternative to moving out is to refuse to react to any drama they throw at you.  Relentless positivity and humor is kryptonite to narcissists and drama queens.  If they cannot get a rise out of you, they soon implode because it forces them to look at themselves instead of fixating on what you are doing wrong.  

There is great power in shutting up.  You are the ruler of the kingdom yourself; don't abuse your power.  Gossip is entertaining, I get it.  It can feel like medication when you're wounded.  Schadenfreude is addictive -- if it wasn't, tabloid magazines would not be a thing.  But here's the thing: people who have active and meaningful lives do not gossip.  It's a weird aspect of having meaning in your life that the urge to gossip just falls away.  

When I say you do not owe anyone anything, I mean it.  It's not my fault if someone is looking for advice that I don't feel fit to give.  I no longer make conversation because someone else might feel silence is awkward.  My company is pleasant enough I think, and if it isn't, I don't give a rat's derriere.  I know I have the ability to make conversation: I have conversations with trees, for Pete's sake!  But it isn't my job.  

Another thing I no longer do is explain.  Less is more.  People don't need to know why all the time.  It's not their circus and not their monkeys.  People usually have more than enough to worry about without being burdened of a detailed explanation of my modus operandi.  The easiest way to win friends and get people to like and respect you is by shutting up and asking them something about themselves.  

There are things that my closest family members will never know about me.  I like my secrets. I am taking them to the grave.

The Mental

The final wall of psychic self-defense is the creation of magical shapes inside and outside of the mind.  If the average, ignorant media slave's signature is a hot mess of violent crayon scribbles, the well-defended psychic's trademark is a complex symphony of beautiful and symmetrical shapes not unlike an unfolding kaleidoscope.  In my case, the Sphere of Protection, musical Orphic hymns, and geometric gardens provide an intensive shield against modern manias and agendas that would otherwise warp and twist my efforts.  Of course there are other ways to eke out one's own magical shapes -- in the old days, that's why churches were so beautifully and carefully designed and took centuries to build.  

I realize these notes may raise more questions than they answer.  That's both good and bad, I suppose.