The Shadow of the Rainbow

[kimberlysteele]

I have never had any problem with what does or does not go on in other people's bedrooms. I lean a bit gay myself, and if female-female relationships were somehow less fraught with drama than male-female ones, chances are I would have ended up married to another woman. In my self-conscious youth, I went out of my way to demonstrate how OK I was with other people choosing do do whatever they wanted with their own sexualities. I went to bars and pride parades. Every now and then, I expressed my open disgust at certain polarizing Christian groups that took Leviticus 18:22 literally, yet accepted shellfish-eaters and tattoo-wearers into its ranks without question.

I resisted being a TERF long after J.K. Rowling got cancelled for promoting women-only spaces. It was actually the long reaction to the release of Covid that ended my relationships with gay men. The few gay male friends I had uniformly turned into Wokezis who felt entitled to shame anyone and everyone except themselves.

There's an old adage that the Left will eat itself, yet the current mass hysteria about alternative sexuality was born in the Right. We would not have pushy genderqueer creeps attempting to insert themselves into children's story hour at the library if there had never been pushy evangelists who shouted from televisions and churches built on every corner during the last 200 years. We are on a pendulum that keeps swinging through sensible approaches to life from one heinous extreme to the other. On one side, there are sociopathic libertine clowns in full makeup and foundation-caked beards insisting that their autogynephilia isn't the same kind as the freakshow, serial killer kind captured in film The Silence of the Lambs. On the other side, we have equally septic narcissists who would slut-shame a dog walking in a park because her butt wiggled when she walked; transparently pre-occupied are they with the delights of perversion though they passionately preach otherwise.

In both cases, there is a shadow being carefully tucked away and denied.

I Won't Grow Up!

Adolescence is difficult to begin with, and it is far more difficult now than it ever was when I was growing up. Considering I almost took my own life back then because of how bad it was, to have it be worse now is a special kind of hell. I truly feel for the younger generations nowadays. I created a TikTok expressly for the reason of trying to help them in a way psychiatrists, counselors, and psychologists who are almost as common as preachy Christian hypocrites (and often one and the same) cannot.

I had friends who grew up as gay males in the 80s and 90s. It was rough -- they were bullied, harassed, and to make matters worse, teachers often looked the other way or even joined in. But as much as they might think they had it the worst, I was straight at the time and I was sexually assaulted multiple times in the halls of my junior high when I was only 12 years old. I was bullied and teachers often were just as bad as students. Public school was horrible and in the 80s, there was no awareness about bullies aside from caricatures in Back to the Future and John Hughes movies. The difference between me and my gay male friends is that I grew out of it and I no longer live my emotional life in junior high and high school.

Gay men are often ensnared by the Puer Aeternis archetype. Despite the aging, balding, pot-bellied image in the mirror, they are obsessed with the toxic myth of eternal youth. The reason gay men want to indoctrinate children is because they have confined their imaginations to eternal adolescence: obsessed with human beauty, preoccupied with sexual acts or a lack thereof, and constantly outraged from being trapped inside a persecution complex.

Gay women, ironically, are not as obsessed with youth because they want to mate with it so much as they see commandeering the young as a way to exercise control. Like the embittered Catholic nuns of yesteryear who ruled with an iron hand and a painful conductor's wand well-acquainted with children's wrists and arms, the gay women teachers of the new Millennium want to be dictators of their own banana republics. They want to erect statues to their own superhuman glory (making sure to tear down Abe Lincoln or George Washington as a bonus) like Miss Trunchbull in Matilda.

Don't Fear the Reaper

The trouble with putting all your unfertilized eggs in the ephemeral basket of appearance is that nobody ages in reverse. I thought I had an uphill battle as a woman when it came to letting go of being the prettiest in the room. As it turns out, my non-straight male peers were far worse at accepting the ravages of gravity and age. Just as certain women turn into plastic surgery addicts, choosing to have their skin detached and stretched out over a series of ever-degrading procedures known as face-lifts, certain men seek to turn back the clock by cross-dressing and occasionally amputating/augmenting their bodies in botched attempts to avoid adulthood and maturity. Notice how Dylan Mulvaney caricatures girls ages 8-18 and any given drag show parodies young Mariah, not present day Mariah. Mighty Saturn is their ultimate Kryptonite, and it is almost funny that they think they can outrun him.

Who You Callin' a Dictator?

It's also almost funny that so many "non-binary" people and their "allies" point the finger at the ostensibly straight accusing them of a dictatorship. There has never been an easier time in history to choose or declare your own sexual path. If anything, it is straight couples who wish to bear children who are most at risk at being shamed, excluded, marginalized, bullied, and attacked. Name one place in the US a straight person can live and not be constantly messaged with alphabet soup awareness propaganda: such a place no longer exists. After obtaining the right to get married, the push could have easily stopped and we all know it.

One thing that has become very clear in the last few years is just how beholden our entire economic system is to medical grift. Though it is estimated that 50% of the real economy has something to do with Pharmakeia, I would guess it is more like 80%. Everybody is out to make a buck on the chronically ill these days except for a handful that have somehow stayed out such as myself. Of course the medical dictatorship seeks to exploit awkward pre-teens and medicalize them into a lifetime of misery and dependence. That's how they roll. An industry that has zero problem with scamming the elderly and maiming and killing billions with forced vaccines isn't going to have any qualms when it comes to convincing kids to chemically castrate themselves and amputate working body parts, thus damaging themselves for the rest of their current incarnations.

One of my quiet agendas with all of the TikTok videos I make about healing herbs is to perhaps get the idea out there that treatments and cures are not limited to magic pills, amputation, and implants.

Comments

[kimberlysteele]

With the way certain factions are trying very hard to get the average person to associate being gay with pedophilia, they will be extremely lucky if gay marriage isn't the only thing to be revoked. Gays Against Groomers is the only group smart enough to jump out ahead of that curve (at least it's the only group as far as I know). The mistake of the corporate Left was going after children, though I am not surprised they did considering I still think they're being commandeered by the demon Paimon.

[methylethyl]

Even with the Gays against groomers folks... I think they're doing good work, but I worry about them. That's too many folks wrapping their life-energy around a really, really ugly thing. At some point, it doesn't even matter that they're *against* that thing-- there are serious problems with defining yourself by what you're against.

It's the what-you-contemplate-you-imitate problem. I'm not at all sure they're adequately protecting themselves.

[kimberlysteele]

Were you part of the Ecosophia crowd that studied Dion Fortune's The Cosmic Doctrine when JMG focused his Book Club on it? "there are serious problems with defining yourself by what you're against" is one of the basic principles of the Cosmic Doctrine.

[methylethyl]

Nah, I see all the Cos Doc posts, but I have already got a religion I am happy with, so they are not of much interest to me-- I skip those. It is entirely possible I've still picked up some of the tidbits through osmosis, as I'm sure those discussions trickle into all the other discussion threads. I've definitely seen the "what you contemplate, you imitate" thing come up repeatedly ;) It rings true.

But also, it's a thing I dealt with in my youth, repeatedly --see previous comment on anger, forgiving, etc-- I have a sibling who was never able to do that, with a considerably more traumatic school experience. Constantly gets jerked around by whatever dumpster-fire-of-the-week issue, struggles with chronic depression, etc etc. It's an ugly pit to be in, and it could easily have been me. I'm now convinced that grudges are the root cause of most depression. Make the things and people you hate the center of your life, and you become all that hate. It ain't healthy. It's like having a huge infected cyst, and instead of lancing and disinfecting it, you protect and nurture that thing like a pet tumor.

It's one of those lovely fractal concepts that's so true it works on all levels, big and small. It's the same deal when I coach my kids that "we don't talk about what we don't like". Like, it's OK if you don't like mushrooms or squash, and you can say "no thank you" to it-- but end it there. Don't say "eeew! I HATE those! Gross!" and then spend five minutes elaborating on every way you don't like it and why. It's not just rude, it's giving that thing way more importance than it warrants, and you're imposing your negativity on everybody around you. Don't give away your power to a *squash*, for pete's sake. OTOH, if you can learn the concept with a nice safe enemy like squash, then with any luck it'll be transferrable to bigger problems later :)

[kimberlysteele]

Dion Fortune (author of Cosmic Doctrine) was a devout, churchgoing Christian. What I find fascinating is how the seed of Christianity manifests so similarly in you and her, taking into account my own limited perception of what Christ said and how he acts through people. I have a Christian friend who is a mother who also shares some common threads with you and Fortune. There's a certain kind of lionhearted, pragmatic Christianity that lives on in a rare sort of individual. I wish it wasn't so scarce and hard to find!

[(Anonymous)]

Ha! Don't compliment me on it-- I'm not an original thinker, and I'm a way worse Christian in person than in writing ;)

I don't think it's Christianity exclusively, as I think there may be some similar concepts in Buddhism and Taoism actually (and while I don't recall anything specific, my Dad was a zazen devotee for a long time before he became Catholic-- changing religion never erases your previous *experience*, it just incorporates it). But I also think that some things are just *true* and anybody earnestly pursuing truth is going to find those things, no matter their religion-- it's why we find some of the same concepts and themes across different religions. Because those things are true. It becomes a bit like elaborating a law of physics-- it's not something someone made up. It's something a lot of people observed to be true, and behaving as though it is true gets good results.

So, like, you may not believe in the law of gravity, but if you behave as though it is not true... results probably not great. Like most "laws" that actually work: it's descriptive, not prescriptive.

One of the things I like about the ecosophia community (in addition to being the most well-moderated forum on the internet!), is the very practical approach to... most things: a sort of willingness to ask "Is this possible?" and "Does this actually work?" outside of current cultural dogma. Once in that place, it is amazing how often people from different backgrounds, with different approaches... come to similar conclusions. If you start from the dogmatic assumption that "nothing spiritual is real" then of course none of that can even be explored. But if you haven't amputated that part of your perceptions... we're talking about observable phenomena. So... is it possible? Does it work? If you behave as though this is true, what are the results?

Christianity is a funny thing. The various formal religions around it are a very very mixed bag. But they've all been vouchsafed some wonderfully, unavoidably, pricelessly true things. So... I was a very credulous, trusting, naive, and extremely literal child. I believed *everything* I learned in church. Read that Bible all the way through, and more importantly: I prayed. A lot. God is real, God was there for me, and I knew Him personally. In the self-centered way of children, I did most of the talking: He's a good listener. But the sense of Presence was unmistakable. The church I grew up in, even though it was spiritually dead, still managed to give me that huge gift (A cynic might say I was a miserable child with an imaginary friend-- this is not how I see it-- I say, Christ is real, and even a church that fails to follow its own teachings... can transmit those teachings successfully because the teachings *themselves* are true). I left it later, when the cognitive dissonance between their stated beliefs and their actual practice became too great for me... and then searched for a long time, for a church I *could* participate in, still with a mental template of Calvinism: respectful, aesthetically stark, like I grew up with, just... where the practice matched the teachings.

So it was a bit of a shock when I first encountered Orthodoxy-- you almost could not be farther from Calvinism. But lo and behold-- God lived there. I knew that Presence from long acquaintance. After that, I had to jettison all the stuff I *thought* I was looking for, because of course, it wasn't the familiar hymns I was really after, was it? It was a familiar Person. He's the source, and all religious doctrine and practice has to flow out from there. I'd *like* to think that means that anybody starting from that point (regardless of what church they grew up in, if any)... is going to end up at similar conclusions. Because that's reality, and God is the source of reality, you know? A True thing is a True thing, no matter how you arrived there. Whether you hiked to a mountaintop in Tibet or you're hanging out on the banks of the Dead Sea, if you drop a rock it falls down. If you cherish anger against your neighbor, it cripples your soul. If you spend all your time thinking about evil things, you'll be shaped by evil things, and if you spend your time contemplating God, you'll be shaped by God. Doesn't matter where you are, or what you believe about it, it's just true ;)

Nietzsche was no sort of Christian

[mr_nobody1967]

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you." --Friedrich Nietzsche

[(Anonymous)]

What I find so bitterly ironic about it all is that just ten years ago "gays are pedophilies" was a right wing trope used to attack gays. People on the left were quite aggressively attacking it, and now they seem determined to prove it.

[kimberlysteele]

Exactly! All they have done for years is to load the creeps on the Right with more emotional ammunition. Yet some of the biggest alleged pedos in Hollywood such as Spielberg and Hanks are accused of preying upon little girls, meaning they're technically straight. Supposedly Spielberg and his buddies raped little Heather O'Rourke to death and covered it up. Hanks has been accused of being a child rapist and trafficker by one of his alleged female victims.

[(Anonymous)]

Did you see the speculation on Ecosophia about the possibility the Left embraced the narratives of the Right, and are now playing out the role of the evil villains? Well, it would certainly seem to fit a lot of the things happening around sexuality of late...

[kimberlysteele]

No, I did not see that, however, I have been saying for years that the current hysteria where the Left finds itself looking like a bunch of pedophile creeps was only possible because the Right had an equal and opposite hysteria in the 1980s and 1990s. Today's MAP-pedovore eunuch cross-dressing clown in heels and pancake makeup is the equal and opposite reaction to the materially rapacious, churchdaddy suburbanites of the 1980s with their perfect lawns and quiverfull Stepford wives and children. The hero became the villain and the villain became the hero.

[methylethyl]

Now that you say it... yeah. Both of the above. Remember Satanic Panic and the crazy daycare stories? It's like that warped fantasy gave birth to "Today's MAP-pedovore eunuch cross-dressing clown in heels..." I distinctly recall there being clowns involved in that whole SP thing.

WTF is up with clowns anyway? Kids don't like them. I had a full-blown clown phobia when I was a kid, that extended to masks, and any kind of full-grown person (or machine) in a costume (Mall Santa, Mall Easter Bunny, dancing hot dogs, Chuck E. Cheese...). October every year, my mom had to start making a *wide* detour around the display of rubber masks (which of course they put right at the front of the store), because I wouldn't go anywhere near it. That is not at all uncommon among children, and frankly they still creep me out. I think as a kid you can kind of "see" the inside person, and when the inside doesn't match the outside, (either because the person inside the costume isn't the character they're portraying, or because there's no person inside at all) that's scary.

And yet we have all these people super gung-ho about DQSH. It's like they either hate kids, or they've never met any. There's no way there aren't preschoolers screaming and having to be hauled out of every one of those events. Before you ever even get to the "drag" part and whether that's appropriate... these are essentially costumed clowns, and kids are scared of clowns.

[methylethyl]

I keep hoping it's not actually true, and this keeps happening:

https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1667198162036051969

Like seriously... I wanna believe the left at least means well-- they used to. But if unwilling to police their own ranks... how are these groups any different from the 80s moral majority leader creeps who abused their wives and kept teenage mistresses on the side?

[mr_nobody1967]

Well, that the left went all-in on the most Orwellian aspects of the Covid/ quaxxine psy-op pretty much decided me that I am done with the left after three Jupiter-cycles of drinking that Kool-Aid. In fact, I am looking forward to voting for either Trump or DeSantis in the 2024 election (even while realizing how thoroughly rigged and buggered US elections are these days).

[kimberlysteele]

I have finally had enough with voting in American elections. Not sure I will ever vote again, but if I don't, I have no problem lying about it or simply not saying. There's no point in voting anything but Democrat in Illinois -- it was incredibly obvious the Dems cheated in Illinois in 2016. They became far more brazen about it in subsequent elections. There was record turnout at the polls yet Democrats swept. We all know nobody voted for them.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, I have been concerned that adding the T to LGB would undermine gay marriage and other rights.

The pride stuff this year and last got weird. Several of my friends took their kids to pride parades. I used to regularly go to the parades, but there are overt displays of sexuality and I wouldn't take a kid.

A lot of my not-gay friends don't want to be ordinary. They (We) used to go to pride to support our gay friends. Now they want to have fuller participation. Last year a friend decided to walk in the lesbian march. She was adamant she was queer and wanted to join as a member of the community. Her qeerness came from participating in a few threesomes after her first husband left. It's very strange.

Heloise

[kimberlysteele]

Like many movements these days, the Alphabet Soup Mafia movement (ASM) has descended into attention-whoring. I too know an ex-friend, self-labeled pan-sexual who had a threesome with her husband at the time and then used that as a springboard into sexual virtue signaling. At its root, the most tormented members of the ASM are average people who cannot stand being average. They lack a calm, meaningful inner life. Instead, their minds are as distracted and torn apart as their movement -- always pointing the finger at someone new to hate, never looking at the shadow being projected, crippled by new and old fears that jump-scare them whenever they encounter a stressor. Getting attention, whether positive or negative, provides a rush that temporarily soothes their inner game of Fear Whack-a-Mole.

I don't go to Pride events anymore, nor will I have anything to do with that movement anymore. I was fine with going to Pride things when it wasn't being forcibly shoved down everyone's throat. But once they started throwing children under the bus by openly pushing their sexualization, I took that as a personal deal-breaker.

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, at this point I can't help but wonder if this might actually be the entire point....

[kimberlysteele]

Keeping the masses in a constant state of terror works for Big Pharma... just look at their record profits and their domination of whatever is left of the economy!