Autistic Literalism

Autism is more than just a common condition with many possible causes ranging from hormone-disrupting plastics in the environment and vaccine schedules. Autism is the zeitgeist of our time. As a high-functioning autistic who has battled the more problematic and antisocial aspects of autism, I believe I am qualified to speak on the subject.

The Girls Who Could Not Shudder

Though Temple Grandin, the high functioning autistic who figured out how to build a better slaughterhouse, believes autism grants her the ability to think like an animal, I tend to disagree. The most high functioning autistics, such as myself, have a weird and serene overview of what fear is made of. Grandin's genius where fear is concerned was to figure out how to trick animals into believing everything is OK until the last second when the bolt shoots out of nowhere and ends his or her life. Mine was to figure out that the seemingly demon-possessed masses (nobody will ever know for sure if it was demons, gods, God, or plain old human nature) reacted to a minor seasonal flu with draconian lockdowns and deadly injection regimes because at their core they were afraid of losing easy affluence and high status. My odd relationship with fear has made it impossible to get the creeps. I finally saw my first full-body apparition a couple of years ago and I had no fear reaction at all. I can watch the Exorcist or any other "scary" film and be grossed out but never scared.

Autism truly is a spectrum and most people have it to one degree or another. If I were to take a guess, I would venture that it is a Plutonian influence because it seems to have an affinity for prosthetic digital fantasy worlds, plastics, and cheap oil wealth.

Autists Love Rules

In the film Rain Man, Dustin Hoffman plays Raymond, the institutionalized adult autistic brother of a sleazy car dealer played by Tom Cruise. Realizing his deceased father's 3 million dollar fortune is held up in Raymond's institution, Charlie (Tom Cruise's character) springs his brother for an epic road trip where they get to know each other for the first time. Rain Man made a splash in 1988 because it brought autism into the spotlight as a real disorder and audiences got a fascinating glimpse into the every day world of an idiot-savant. Raymond's worst meltdowns in the film are triggered by disruptions of routines and rules. Raymond is unwilling to board a plane. His reaction is so extreme, Charlie ends up taking him on the long journey via car. Raymond loves watching The People's Court every day at the same time on television, which means that Charlie must accommodate his wishes despite being on the road.

Rain Man was based on the true story of Laurence Kim Peek, a real life savant who the character of Raymond was meant to pay tribute. The depiction of Raymond won multiple awards for its unflinching truth. For better or for worse, the autists I have known and taught all have a certain love of rules and schedules. One adult autistic student may request me to write everything she is expected to practice in a week down to the finest detail of fingering as well as how many times she is to practice at a specific time of day predetermined by me. Another autistic adult who was more severe on the autism spectrum loved the same funny demonstration of the Do-Re-Mi-Fa-Sol pentachord week after week. She loved it for its predictability and not in spite of it. When I was a child, I presumed all families gathered for supper at 5:30pm because that is what my family did. I loved order, dependability, and routine and still do. To this day, when I am forced or obliged to stay up past my usual bedtime, I get very irritable and snippy about it if I am not keeping my temper in check.

Autism can bring out the worst in people, especially the children of rich people. Greta Thunberg descended into a horrific eating disorder at the age of 11. Her indulgent parents cancelled everything for their child, including her mother's career as an international opera singer. Greta went on long campaigns of manipulative, seemingly-intentional anorexia right as her body was supposed to be experiencing maturity and a final growth spurt.

Svante is boiling gnocchi. It is extremely important that the consistency is perfect, otherwise it won’t be eaten. We set a specific number of gnocchi on her plate. It’s a delicate balancing act; if we offer too many our daughter won’t eat anything and if we offer too few she won’t get enough. Whatever she ingests is obviously too little, but every little bite counts and we can’t afford to waste a single one. Then Greta sits there sorting the gnocchi. She turns each one over, presses on them and then does it again. And again. After 20 minutes she starts eating. She licks and sucks and chews: tiny, tiny bites. It takes for ever.  “I’m full,” she says suddenly. “I can’t eat any more.”  -Malena Ernman on daughter Greta Thunberg

Thunberg and her equally molly-coddled autistic sister, Beata, straddled the line between legitimate disability and total brat.  Both sisters clearly enjoyed torturing their parents.  A part of them coolly observed as their parents indulged ever more hysterical antics in order to appease their every whim.  Greta was willing to starve to death as a child in order to have her rules, her way, and her parents were appointed with the responsibility for her starvation by default.  

The Motive

I think rule-following gives autistics like myself a dopamine rush and a fun distraction from the harshness of life.  That is why it can be addictive to make and follow one's own strict rules.  There is a vision of how proper and perfect everything would be if only the rule was followed at the same time every day.  Perhaps the origin of the impulse is demonic but honestly I have no idea.  Once I bore witness to an autistic child throwing a violent tantrum in a public space over a lost toy.  Toys are not supposed to be misplaced; that is a breach of the rules.  

Autism is in some part the indulgence of laziness.  The idea behind the laziness is that the world around the autist must conform to his or her wishes.  The same television show needs to come on at the same time and Raymond needs to have his butt planted in his seat in order to watch it every day.  Greta needs her gnocchi a certain way come hell or high water or it's imminent death.  The kid acted like the Hulk on a bender because his toy was missing.  

When autists find out that the real world does not have to comport to their wishes, many of them shut down a la Greta Thunberg and would rather die or skip puberty than grow up and face the music.  Depending on the autist, the determination to culminate desire can result in an idiot or a savant.  In my case, my determination to understand the music that was lodged in my brain from birth led to relentless experimentation with copycatting songs on the piano and eventually provided me with a career as a music teacher.  I am an idiot in many ways, including where music is concerned, but there are certain aspects of music where I lean towards the savant.  Every time I used to run to the piano and force my will on my own ear, that dopamine hit gave me the impetus to move on to bigger and better harmonies.

Autistic Literalism Gone Wild

As I mentioned, we all have a bit of the autist in us.  In 1995, a book called The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right arrived on the scene.  The Rules for ensnaring the not-yet-born Christian Grey were grotesque and oversimplified: play hard to get, be unfriendly and standoffish, stop all communications if he forgets your birthday, yet be easy to live with.  In other words, follow this impossible formula to be certain to ensnare an ideal man who does not exist.  

The same large female group who fell for The Rules bought into Rhonda Byrnes's The Secret in young adulthood and Covid paranoia in middle age.  "If the details of the formula are correct, my desire will manifest", they assured themselves.  They were also told going to university would land them good-paying jobs in their field and that they needed a degree in order to succeed.  How is that working out for them collectively right now?

Dilbert is a comic strip about formula-following, mouse-find-cheese engineers working under an evil boss.  One day, it will serve as a time capsule of the years 1960 - 2040 on display.  There is a sociopathic evil boss who doesn't care that he is draining the life out of his employees.  Dilbert goes to a psychiatrist, who suggests he is insecure about his looks because his mother was a moth (an absurd formula) and Dilbert ends up agreeing that she was a moth because Dilbert had a sweater that disappeared as a child.  In other words, no matter how insane the illogic, the formulas must work because an expert says they work.   In companies like the one parodied by the Dilbert strip, consultants are hired to solve company problems, when the baseline problem is that the employees are treated like robots and not human beings.  Robots do not deviate from the rules.  

I still drive a car a few times a week.  There are many people who drive while autistic, expecting everyone else to follow the rules and getting very upset and stressed out if they don't.  That used to be me and still is sometimes.  The hard facts are that driving is a sh**show and making it out alive and intact must be the primary goal, not following the rules to the letter and expecting others to do the same.

If autists of every stripe can understand that autism is neither a superpower nor a life sentence, that would be a good first step towards adjusting to a world where autism permeates almost every aspect of daily life.  Autists of moderate to high function need to wake up and realize that nobody owes us our living, especially not our parents.  Another realization I would suggest is that compliance with your own rules or anyone else's can dig you into a deep pit.  Autistics may be plagued with literalism but we are routinely blessed with insight.  Being so detail-oriented means you can see the hidden faces, if only you can overcome your fear and put your mind to it.