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Happy Fall Equinox! Here in northern Illinois we were blessed by Hera with relief from a weeks-long drought in the form of cool, gentle rain. I was planning a darker essay talking about the sorry state of medicine this week but I'm just not feeling it, so instead, I wanted to share about some of my better decisions in the arena of minimalism. I am a natural contrarian, so this list is going to be followed in the near future by a list of 50 Things I Refuse To Do Without or something along those lines.
For now, this is a list of things I have cut out of my life sans regret. The suggestions below are not to be taken as any kind of gospel. Do your own thing, by all means. This is just how I do it. If you have things you have cut out of your life with good results, I would be delighted to hear about it in the comments. As usual, my only request is that profanity be kept to nothing worse than "bitch".
1. Television
One of the best decisions I ever made was to get rid of the TV two decades ago. I was living in a two bedroom apartment when I heard a bunch of squawking birds and yelling from the other room, a scuffle, and gunshot noises. If you guessed Duck Dynasty, you guessed correctly. I was paying the cable bill at the time and I put my foot down and said I would no longer be paying for it. To anyone who wants to be a writer, musician, parent, or productive person in general: get rid of the TV. NOW.
2. Video games
Yeah, this is going to hit a lot of people where they live but there is no greater time and mental energy suck than a video game. The saddest thing I have ever seen is the current crowd of children who barely spend any time outside in unstructured play but who know every obscure Roblox horror game down to its theme song. When my own vocal rendition of I Am Stretched on Your Grave was used for a popular Skyrim mod, I had no clue for several years because I don't play video games, nor do I follow any of that stuff.
3. Multiple handbags
Why anyone needs more than one handbag or tote is beyond me. Especially ludicrous is Marie Kondo's suggestion that one must empty the entire contents of the bag and lay it all out (presumably in a drawer?) to allow the handbag to rest. Handbags are particularly difficult to store because they are so floppy. Honestly, carrying a handbag is annoying and I would like to figure out how to avoid carrying one altogether.
4. Multiple winter coats
Unless you are some kind of professional snow sportsperson, I don't know why a second coat would be necessary. The one exception I can find here would be a dress coat in addition to a more practical cold-weather coat.
5. Rain slicker
I don't own one. Maybe if I had a job downtown or had to walk to school, I would.
6. New clothes
80% of my wardrobe is thrifted and the other 20% is underwear, socks, or gifts from family. I also refuse to buy brand name clothes or accessories with obvious logos. I am far too cool to be anyone's free advertisement.
7. High maintenance clothing, including anything white, pastel, or dry clean only
Maybe someday I will wear white if I am guaranteed not to have to eat or sweat. Wearing white is a pain in the ass. Also, I am tired of shoes that are too precious to walk anywhere in. I can walk in heels but I no longer care to do it. I have made my peace with being short.
8. Suitcases and travel in general
One of the hidden perks about lower middle class life is not being expected to travel. Every time I have traveled, I have not felt rested during or afterwards. I would much rather stay home. I am not fond of long drives or plane rides and I have enough going on inside my head not to need extra stimulation. Travel, especially plane travel, is terrible for the environment. It costs far too much, it is inconvenient, and personally I find most of it to be boring. I do not own a suitcase. The last time I got on a plane was 20 years ago.
9. Paper bills
Paper bills are annoying. I would rather pay stuff online despite the security risk.
10. Breakfast
I have never liked breakfast. Wolfing down a meal within an hour of getting out of bed does not appeal to me and often makes me nauseous. I did not like breakfast as a child, teen, or collegiate, yet I ate it every day because it was either that or starve until noon/1pm. Nowadays, I never eat it and I don't eat cereal, oatmeal, or cream of wheat at all because I associate them with bad memories.
11. Extra knives
Who buys all of these damn knives? I own one kitchen knife and one paring knife. They are all I need. My husband bought a ceramic knife and a serrated knife. So four knives sum total not including butter knives.
12. Extra flatware
I don't entertain more than two guests at a time -- my house is very small. There is no way that I need a ton of flatware. If I had my way, I would own only two spoons, two forks, and two butter knives. I own more than that because my husband would complain. Nevertheless, if we only had two of each, there would never be a bunch of forks, knives, and spoons waiting to be washed or left in the sink rack because they would always be immediately washed and put away after each use. Or at least that's my theory and I'm sticking to it.
13. Extra plates
I have one large plate and four small ones. That is it. Two of the small plates are sushi plates. My husband has four or five microwave plates that I don't use.
14. Bottled water
Another one of the best decisions I have ever made was buying a Berkee water filter. Once again, there was a situation where I was paying for those giant bottles of water and hauling them around. It sucked. Berkee is one of the best water filters money can buy. It paid for itself many times over. They are not sponsoring me but they are welcome to do so.
15. Old ass food
Just get rid of it. Old food brings foul etheric energy into the kitchen. If there is any doubt or question, into the compost pile it goes. Feed the possums, skunks, and raccoons. They happily take what you reject. Condiments that are a year old need to go. The only thing I keep over a year is canned tomato paste and sauce, coconut milk, sugar, salt, and pasta.
16. Microwaves
Speaking of bad energy, microwaves devitalize the etheric both in and around the food they cook. I cannot prove that microwaved food is bad, but this is my sincere belief. My husband has a microwave that I do not use. I prefer to reheat things in the air fryer or on the stovetop.
17. Bought flowers
They are lovely but there is no way I can afford to buy them. Every now and then, my husband or my students buy me flowers. If I get roses, once the blooms fade and droop, I cut them off and at least try to propagate them from the stems.
18. Food delivery, including pizza
There's no way I can afford to do this, plus if some person is going to come all the way to my house I am going to tip them handsomely.
19. Fancy cookbooks and recipe
Fancy cookbooks piss me off because they presume I have infinite leisure time and secondly that I would spend that leisure time crafting exquisite meals with exotic ingredients.
20. Scent diffusers
These inevitably either dry up, leaving a thickened goo at the bottom or they get knocked over and spill scented oil over the toilet or sink. If you want to get rid of the crap smell, keep a box of matches in the bathroom so you can light a few matches when you've had a debacle over the throne.
21. Bathroom scale
I don't need to know my weight. I can see when I am out of shape and if I did work on building more muscle as I should, I would weigh the same because muscle weighs more than fat. Weighing is a toxic practice unless you are a professional wrestler or a doctor.
22. Curling iron
I have giant hair. When I want to enhance my natural waves, I use my straightening iron to do it. There are online tutorials for this.
23. Blow dryer
If I want a blowout, I will go out and get one. I wash my hair once every two days and I wrap it in a towel. Then I wrap it in another towel to sleep in. It is mostly dry by morning.
24. Shave cream
I am lucky that I do not have to shave my legs. Most likely this is due to my half-Asian genetics. I do have to shave other parts and my husband shaves too. We both discovered hair conditioner works far better than shave cream. Maybe it works because it is NOT foamy. I don't know, It does work.
25. Most cleaning products
Oddly enough, Windex and glass cleaners like it make the cut. My Big Fat Greek Wedding was right about Windex. Windex is good for everything. It is the only thing that cuts through bathtub ring. Other than Windex, most cleaners aren't all that necessary. I prefer to use a mixture of white vinegar and water in a spray bottle for almost everything else. I even spray my wet hair down with it after washing it as a leave in conditioner.
26. Air fresheners
Most of them are toxic and they smell fake as hell. For one, don't bother trying to freshen air in a dirty or dusty room -- that's like wearing cologne when what you really need to do is take a shower. I vastly prefer the smell of incense. Burned often enough, good incense leaves a lovely, subtle smell.
27. A mop
I don't own one. I have hardwood floors and mopping would ruin them. I prefer my broom, vacuum, and Swiffer, which is basically a cloth on a broomstick.
28. Iron and ironing board
Who has time to iron anymore? My husband works from home and I have the good sense not to buy 100% cotton or linen. If something needs to be un-wrinkled, there are handheld clothes steamers that cost 20-30 dollars that work better anyway.
29. Pet chew repellent
Body spray works far better and smells better too.
30. Free standing cat trees
I gave away two of them once my husband built climbing shelves and a built-in PVC cat tree.
31. Uncovered litter boxes
Kitties miss. An uncovered litter box resulted in some nasty cat pee smells because it soaked into the floor. Luckily my cats are fine with their enclosed litter boxes.
32. Craft supplies
I am done with crafting -- I don't have time because of all the other stuff I do: music, writing, teaching. Maybe in my future lives I will have time for handicrafts. I have thrown in the towel for this incarnation.
33. Most makeup
Makeup is for younger women than me. I wear it but I don't go far beyond the "enhanced natural" look. I have gotten rid of the creative eyeshadow colors, the bright lipsticks, false eyelashes, and contour. I don't have time for it for the same reason as the whole handicraft issue above.
34. Hair spray
I use simple syrup, which is sugar melted in water. I mix in some eucalyptus oil for scent and to preserve it and store the spray bottle in the fridge. Hairspray is stupid expensive.
35. Botox, fillers, and other anti-aging treatments
Every person who gets this stuff ends up looking like an uncanny freak at some point. I would much rather look like Betty White than Jane Fonda.
36. Tights
Stretch pants with socks are better than tights.
37. A couch
I don't have one, there is no space in my house for it. I have thrifted bench storage ottomans with blankets on them. I actually wish I had room for a couch.
38. Blinds
Gods, I HATE blinds! Cats destroy them in five minutes. Blinds deserve it for being so damn ugly. Blinds turn every room into a florescent lit office from the worst part of 1993.
39. Plants and plant pots
You can thrift almost any plant from online plant groups or get it for free. Any container can be transformed into a plant pot by drilling holes in the bottom. If the container is ugly, house it in another container or cover it with paint, rope, or whatever. As for the plants themselves, experiment! Onions, potatoes, and lettuce can be regrown into new plants. I have several lemon trees I started years ago from grocery store lemons with seeds in them. Don't buy, re-use and propagate!
40. Cacti
I have no luck with cacti.
41. Haircuts and dye jobs
Both of these are like taking money and flushing it down the toilet. I cut my mom's short, fine hair every few weeks and for about a decade before my father died, I cut his hair and trimmed his eyebrow hair. As for my own hair, I do the wolf cut, also known as the butterfly cut, which involves putting hair into multiple ponytails and always bears good results. My hair is going gray and there is no way I am going to try to cover it.
42. Dentist appointments, including routine cleanings
Dentistry is a racket. Oral health comes from the inside, not from someone poking and prodding molars. Teeth are bones. They can be regenerated. I pack the cavity-prone parts of my teeth every night with the contents of a calcium pill. This can also be done with calcium powder. If my teeth start hurting, it means my diet needs to improve and that I need to supplement with bromelain, preferably in the form of fresh pineapple. All the brushing, flossing, and cavity-filing in the world cannot stand in for a clean diet and moderate exercise. My teeth have always been at their worst when I was seeing a dentist on the regular and not paying attention to my diet.
43. Doctors
I don't trust any of them as far as I can throw them. If I get sick and die, so be it. I'm not afraid of death. The only way I see will ever see a doctor is if I break my arm or some other form of triage.
44. Health insurance
I cannot afford it and I don't want it. It is a racket. If I sicken and die, oh well.
45. Eye doctors
I get my glasses from an old prescription with Zenni. I deliberately wear a weaker, non-bifocal prescription than I allegedly need to strengthen my eyesight. I only use my strong glasses when I have to drive at night.
46. Fitness clubs
If it cannot be achieved without equipment via natural bodily resistance, like squats or pushups, I don't want to mess with it. Fitness clubs make money by people who never go, and unfortunately I have always been one of those.
47. Watches
I have not worn a watch since I was 20. The last thing I want is a watch that is essentially a mini-cell phone. It's just another status symbol that is easily stolen.
48. Electronic tablets and e-readers
I may end up getting one for sheet music but for the time being, no thanks.
49. Land line
As long as I have to have a cell phone, I won't have another line that needs to be paid for as well.
50. Perfectionism
I am so over it! The worst kind of perfectionism is when you see yourself as closer to perfect than other people. I don't do that anymore -- what is right for me is not right for someone else, nor should it ever be. You do you, I'll do me, and we will both be as imperfect as the gods will allow!
For now, this is a list of things I have cut out of my life sans regret. The suggestions below are not to be taken as any kind of gospel. Do your own thing, by all means. This is just how I do it. If you have things you have cut out of your life with good results, I would be delighted to hear about it in the comments. As usual, my only request is that profanity be kept to nothing worse than "bitch".
1. Television
One of the best decisions I ever made was to get rid of the TV two decades ago. I was living in a two bedroom apartment when I heard a bunch of squawking birds and yelling from the other room, a scuffle, and gunshot noises. If you guessed Duck Dynasty, you guessed correctly. I was paying the cable bill at the time and I put my foot down and said I would no longer be paying for it. To anyone who wants to be a writer, musician, parent, or productive person in general: get rid of the TV. NOW.
2. Video games
Yeah, this is going to hit a lot of people where they live but there is no greater time and mental energy suck than a video game. The saddest thing I have ever seen is the current crowd of children who barely spend any time outside in unstructured play but who know every obscure Roblox horror game down to its theme song. When my own vocal rendition of I Am Stretched on Your Grave was used for a popular Skyrim mod, I had no clue for several years because I don't play video games, nor do I follow any of that stuff.
3. Multiple handbags
Why anyone needs more than one handbag or tote is beyond me. Especially ludicrous is Marie Kondo's suggestion that one must empty the entire contents of the bag and lay it all out (presumably in a drawer?) to allow the handbag to rest. Handbags are particularly difficult to store because they are so floppy. Honestly, carrying a handbag is annoying and I would like to figure out how to avoid carrying one altogether.
4. Multiple winter coats
Unless you are some kind of professional snow sportsperson, I don't know why a second coat would be necessary. The one exception I can find here would be a dress coat in addition to a more practical cold-weather coat.
5. Rain slicker
I don't own one. Maybe if I had a job downtown or had to walk to school, I would.
6. New clothes
80% of my wardrobe is thrifted and the other 20% is underwear, socks, or gifts from family. I also refuse to buy brand name clothes or accessories with obvious logos. I am far too cool to be anyone's free advertisement.
7. High maintenance clothing, including anything white, pastel, or dry clean only
Maybe someday I will wear white if I am guaranteed not to have to eat or sweat. Wearing white is a pain in the ass. Also, I am tired of shoes that are too precious to walk anywhere in. I can walk in heels but I no longer care to do it. I have made my peace with being short.
8. Suitcases and travel in general
One of the hidden perks about lower middle class life is not being expected to travel. Every time I have traveled, I have not felt rested during or afterwards. I would much rather stay home. I am not fond of long drives or plane rides and I have enough going on inside my head not to need extra stimulation. Travel, especially plane travel, is terrible for the environment. It costs far too much, it is inconvenient, and personally I find most of it to be boring. I do not own a suitcase. The last time I got on a plane was 20 years ago.
9. Paper bills
Paper bills are annoying. I would rather pay stuff online despite the security risk.
10. Breakfast
I have never liked breakfast. Wolfing down a meal within an hour of getting out of bed does not appeal to me and often makes me nauseous. I did not like breakfast as a child, teen, or collegiate, yet I ate it every day because it was either that or starve until noon/1pm. Nowadays, I never eat it and I don't eat cereal, oatmeal, or cream of wheat at all because I associate them with bad memories.
11. Extra knives
Who buys all of these damn knives? I own one kitchen knife and one paring knife. They are all I need. My husband bought a ceramic knife and a serrated knife. So four knives sum total not including butter knives.
12. Extra flatware
I don't entertain more than two guests at a time -- my house is very small. There is no way that I need a ton of flatware. If I had my way, I would own only two spoons, two forks, and two butter knives. I own more than that because my husband would complain. Nevertheless, if we only had two of each, there would never be a bunch of forks, knives, and spoons waiting to be washed or left in the sink rack because they would always be immediately washed and put away after each use. Or at least that's my theory and I'm sticking to it.
13. Extra plates
I have one large plate and four small ones. That is it. Two of the small plates are sushi plates. My husband has four or five microwave plates that I don't use.
14. Bottled water
Another one of the best decisions I have ever made was buying a Berkee water filter. Once again, there was a situation where I was paying for those giant bottles of water and hauling them around. It sucked. Berkee is one of the best water filters money can buy. It paid for itself many times over. They are not sponsoring me but they are welcome to do so.
15. Old ass food
Just get rid of it. Old food brings foul etheric energy into the kitchen. If there is any doubt or question, into the compost pile it goes. Feed the possums, skunks, and raccoons. They happily take what you reject. Condiments that are a year old need to go. The only thing I keep over a year is canned tomato paste and sauce, coconut milk, sugar, salt, and pasta.
16. Microwaves
Speaking of bad energy, microwaves devitalize the etheric both in and around the food they cook. I cannot prove that microwaved food is bad, but this is my sincere belief. My husband has a microwave that I do not use. I prefer to reheat things in the air fryer or on the stovetop.
17. Bought flowers
They are lovely but there is no way I can afford to buy them. Every now and then, my husband or my students buy me flowers. If I get roses, once the blooms fade and droop, I cut them off and at least try to propagate them from the stems.
18. Food delivery, including pizza
There's no way I can afford to do this, plus if some person is going to come all the way to my house I am going to tip them handsomely.
19. Fancy cookbooks and recipe
Fancy cookbooks piss me off because they presume I have infinite leisure time and secondly that I would spend that leisure time crafting exquisite meals with exotic ingredients.
20. Scent diffusers
These inevitably either dry up, leaving a thickened goo at the bottom or they get knocked over and spill scented oil over the toilet or sink. If you want to get rid of the crap smell, keep a box of matches in the bathroom so you can light a few matches when you've had a debacle over the throne.
21. Bathroom scale
I don't need to know my weight. I can see when I am out of shape and if I did work on building more muscle as I should, I would weigh the same because muscle weighs more than fat. Weighing is a toxic practice unless you are a professional wrestler or a doctor.
22. Curling iron
I have giant hair. When I want to enhance my natural waves, I use my straightening iron to do it. There are online tutorials for this.
23. Blow dryer
If I want a blowout, I will go out and get one. I wash my hair once every two days and I wrap it in a towel. Then I wrap it in another towel to sleep in. It is mostly dry by morning.
24. Shave cream
I am lucky that I do not have to shave my legs. Most likely this is due to my half-Asian genetics. I do have to shave other parts and my husband shaves too. We both discovered hair conditioner works far better than shave cream. Maybe it works because it is NOT foamy. I don't know, It does work.
25. Most cleaning products
Oddly enough, Windex and glass cleaners like it make the cut. My Big Fat Greek Wedding was right about Windex. Windex is good for everything. It is the only thing that cuts through bathtub ring. Other than Windex, most cleaners aren't all that necessary. I prefer to use a mixture of white vinegar and water in a spray bottle for almost everything else. I even spray my wet hair down with it after washing it as a leave in conditioner.
26. Air fresheners
Most of them are toxic and they smell fake as hell. For one, don't bother trying to freshen air in a dirty or dusty room -- that's like wearing cologne when what you really need to do is take a shower. I vastly prefer the smell of incense. Burned often enough, good incense leaves a lovely, subtle smell.
27. A mop
I don't own one. I have hardwood floors and mopping would ruin them. I prefer my broom, vacuum, and Swiffer, which is basically a cloth on a broomstick.
28. Iron and ironing board
Who has time to iron anymore? My husband works from home and I have the good sense not to buy 100% cotton or linen. If something needs to be un-wrinkled, there are handheld clothes steamers that cost 20-30 dollars that work better anyway.
29. Pet chew repellent
Body spray works far better and smells better too.
30. Free standing cat trees
I gave away two of them once my husband built climbing shelves and a built-in PVC cat tree.
31. Uncovered litter boxes
Kitties miss. An uncovered litter box resulted in some nasty cat pee smells because it soaked into the floor. Luckily my cats are fine with their enclosed litter boxes.
32. Craft supplies
I am done with crafting -- I don't have time because of all the other stuff I do: music, writing, teaching. Maybe in my future lives I will have time for handicrafts. I have thrown in the towel for this incarnation.
33. Most makeup
Makeup is for younger women than me. I wear it but I don't go far beyond the "enhanced natural" look. I have gotten rid of the creative eyeshadow colors, the bright lipsticks, false eyelashes, and contour. I don't have time for it for the same reason as the whole handicraft issue above.
34. Hair spray
I use simple syrup, which is sugar melted in water. I mix in some eucalyptus oil for scent and to preserve it and store the spray bottle in the fridge. Hairspray is stupid expensive.
35. Botox, fillers, and other anti-aging treatments
Every person who gets this stuff ends up looking like an uncanny freak at some point. I would much rather look like Betty White than Jane Fonda.
36. Tights
Stretch pants with socks are better than tights.
37. A couch
I don't have one, there is no space in my house for it. I have thrifted bench storage ottomans with blankets on them. I actually wish I had room for a couch.
38. Blinds
Gods, I HATE blinds! Cats destroy them in five minutes. Blinds deserve it for being so damn ugly. Blinds turn every room into a florescent lit office from the worst part of 1993.
39. Plants and plant pots
You can thrift almost any plant from online plant groups or get it for free. Any container can be transformed into a plant pot by drilling holes in the bottom. If the container is ugly, house it in another container or cover it with paint, rope, or whatever. As for the plants themselves, experiment! Onions, potatoes, and lettuce can be regrown into new plants. I have several lemon trees I started years ago from grocery store lemons with seeds in them. Don't buy, re-use and propagate!
40. Cacti
I have no luck with cacti.
41. Haircuts and dye jobs
Both of these are like taking money and flushing it down the toilet. I cut my mom's short, fine hair every few weeks and for about a decade before my father died, I cut his hair and trimmed his eyebrow hair. As for my own hair, I do the wolf cut, also known as the butterfly cut, which involves putting hair into multiple ponytails and always bears good results. My hair is going gray and there is no way I am going to try to cover it.
42. Dentist appointments, including routine cleanings
Dentistry is a racket. Oral health comes from the inside, not from someone poking and prodding molars. Teeth are bones. They can be regenerated. I pack the cavity-prone parts of my teeth every night with the contents of a calcium pill. This can also be done with calcium powder. If my teeth start hurting, it means my diet needs to improve and that I need to supplement with bromelain, preferably in the form of fresh pineapple. All the brushing, flossing, and cavity-filing in the world cannot stand in for a clean diet and moderate exercise. My teeth have always been at their worst when I was seeing a dentist on the regular and not paying attention to my diet.
43. Doctors
I don't trust any of them as far as I can throw them. If I get sick and die, so be it. I'm not afraid of death. The only way I see will ever see a doctor is if I break my arm or some other form of triage.
44. Health insurance
I cannot afford it and I don't want it. It is a racket. If I sicken and die, oh well.
45. Eye doctors
I get my glasses from an old prescription with Zenni. I deliberately wear a weaker, non-bifocal prescription than I allegedly need to strengthen my eyesight. I only use my strong glasses when I have to drive at night.
46. Fitness clubs
If it cannot be achieved without equipment via natural bodily resistance, like squats or pushups, I don't want to mess with it. Fitness clubs make money by people who never go, and unfortunately I have always been one of those.
47. Watches
I have not worn a watch since I was 20. The last thing I want is a watch that is essentially a mini-cell phone. It's just another status symbol that is easily stolen.
48. Electronic tablets and e-readers
I may end up getting one for sheet music but for the time being, no thanks.
49. Land line
As long as I have to have a cell phone, I won't have another line that needs to be paid for as well.
50. Perfectionism
I am so over it! The worst kind of perfectionism is when you see yourself as closer to perfect than other people. I don't do that anymore -- what is right for me is not right for someone else, nor should it ever be. You do you, I'll do me, and we will both be as imperfect as the gods will allow!
