Growing up, I developed a social anxiety and a reservedness based on being bullied by other children. Over the years I have done a lot to calm that anxiety and for several years felt as though I'd made a good run at recovery.
However, the era of cancel mobs and struggle sessions, of social exile and reputation assassination has brought this anxiety back such that I feel once again socially crippled. Particularly tough given that I moved to a left coast city in the early 2000s before things went totally insane and have been forced to watch my new home become even more fundamentalist and more vindictive than the bible belt I left behind. All the more troubling given the attachment to career success I attained far beyond what I was ever raised to believe I could obtain.
I still have no idea how I'm supposed to resolve this issue, given the combination of this new culture as well as belonging to all of the inborn identity groups that one is rewarded to mistreat and discriminate against in modern society.
One of my major challenges in this incarnation was to stop giving a crap what other people thought of me. Having a husband for whom such an attitude came naturally helped me to get over my own hangups about being looked down upon. As for the people who think being black, Asian, Hispanic, Indian, half-Indian, Aboriginal, etc. makes them somehow better or more entitled to basic human rights than a white person, that's racism. They don't get to use not being white as an excuse.
Keep in mind that we are in a world-phase of materialism and astral trash called the Kali Yuga. Our era was so dreaded by ancient peoples that some of them (notably the Incans) actively tried to keep themselves from reincarnating during it. The only thing you can do in an age of trash is to try to ignore most of the trashiness and let it do its own thing while using it as much as possible as motivation to rise above it. And of course to do that, you must make use of what you have.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-10-05 07:52 pm (UTC)However, the era of cancel mobs and struggle sessions, of social exile and reputation assassination has brought this anxiety back such that I feel once again socially crippled. Particularly tough given that I moved to a left coast city in the early 2000s before things went totally insane and have been forced to watch my new home become even more fundamentalist and more vindictive than the bible belt I left behind. All the more troubling given the attachment to career success I attained far beyond what I was ever raised to believe I could obtain.
I still have no idea how I'm supposed to resolve this issue, given the combination of this new culture as well as belonging to all of the inborn identity groups that one is rewarded to mistreat and discriminate against in modern society.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-06 08:15 pm (UTC)Keep in mind that we are in a world-phase of materialism and astral trash called the Kali Yuga. Our era was so dreaded by ancient peoples that some of them (notably the Incans) actively tried to keep themselves from reincarnating during it. The only thing you can do in an age of trash is to try to ignore most of the trashiness and let it do its own thing while using it as much as possible as motivation to rise above it. And of course to do that, you must make use of what you have.