kimberlysteele: (Default)
[personal profile] kimberlysteele
Long story short... she is still alive and I have decided to wait and see with euthanasia. Here is photos of her taken this morning and afternoon.




Kiki, my cat, is a 15 year old domestic shorthair. My husband and I, a deliberately childless couple, got her from the local animal shelter when she was approximately 6 months old. When we got her, she had an infected spay scar and an abdominal hernia, most likely a result of the botched spay job she received. She wore an Elizabethan collar for a long time, nearly 8 months, once we sprung her from the pound by adopting her. (More correctly, she adopted me when I was sit in a room full of kittens and she came up to my leg and immediately nuzzled it.)


The day we took the collar off was thrilling, both for her and us. She was finally healed. Kiki went from a scrawny kitten to a hefty mini-panther over the span of a year. At her heaviest, she weighed nearly 22 pounds and was not obese, just big boned as they say. Kiki has been an only cat and an only pet this whole time. Though I have trained her with a clicker to do some basic tricks such as Sit and to come when her name is called, she's otherwise been a completely pampered, spoiled princess. My husband has bought and assembled two cat trees for her, modded our entire apartment out with bookshelves for her to climb in two different apartments and more recently in my office, and has bought her a small fortune's worth of toys and treats. For a long time, I was giving her raw chicken because it was recommended by a holistic vet -- I've since stopped as she doesn't care for it anymore and there is a supposedly salmonella risk to her. My husband and I are officially the world's lousiest vegans: not only do we proudly feed Kiki and her outdoor feral counterparts meat, we treated her like a rock star when she killed three mice this year.

Kiki is not a fiery personality, meaning she is usually calm and shy. She's a sweetheart who loves shoulder rides and generally must be touching me at almost all times when I am home, and if we are not touching, she prefers to be in sight range. I'm not sure if it is sad or funny or both that I've done the Sphere of Protection more than once with an approximately 20-pound kitty in my arms.

Kiki's robust health finally started to slide around three years ago. Instead of pooping the generous logs you would expect from a big kitty, she would not poop at all. I took her to a good vet in my area. The vet prescribed a few anti-constipation medications, and finally we found one that worked called Cisapride. She also got special shipments of fiber-y cat food in the mail, Royal Canin for Cats Gastrointestinal Fiber Response. Combined with pumpkin in Kiki's food, Miralax, and lots of water, Kiki was pooping again. In the last year, she feel prey to more episodes of constipation, not eating, and dry-heaving and vomiting. She went nearly four weeks without eating or pooping this Spring, and supposedly that's not possible to survive for a cat. I believe the reason she survived was slippery elm, an herb that I mixed into a thin gruel with some feline probiotics and fed to her via a plastic syringe whenever she began to gag. Elm seems to be the only thing that soothes Kiki's gag reflex.

Within the last few months, Kiki has had two different trips to the vet, both times to have her bowels manually de-constipated by her veterinarian. She returned from both trips only slightly better off. The latest trip, which happened a month ago, happened immediately after her month-long bout of not eating. This weekend, her health took a steep decline. She was gagging and/or throwing up every few hours. She had not had a significant poop for a month. Four days ago, this led us to try a Pet-ema brand enema, which is a special sodium mixture designed for cats and dogs. The Pet-ema worked too well. She pooped, but the violence of it caused diarrhea and more vomiting. At that point, I stopped giving her Gabapentin (painkiller) and gave her elm plus pro-biotic every few hours. I am still doing that now.

Late Sunday night, I decided to have Kiki euthanized. My husband was and is 100% for euthanasia. We had both done research on in-home pet euthanasia, and after a few investigative calls, we decided on the Welcome Waggin', a local mobile veterinarian. I scheduled the appointment for 1pm today. After crying my eyes out yesterday and spending the entire Monday, which I have off from work, cuddling Kiki and eating pizza from bed with her in my lap, and then snuggling with her all night, this morning, she rallied. She squatted for a while in her litter box and had the first normal, non-enema-related poop she has had in months. I called the Welcome Waggin' in the early morning and left a message that I was cancelling the euthanasia.

My husband reminded me of just how bad Kiki has been and that her quality of life has been awful for the last month. I waffled on my morning decision and decided to go through with the euthanasia. I then looked at the email the Welcome Waggin' had sent to me. I had expected the vet and her technician would wear masks as they euthanized my cat. I did not expect the ridiculousness of their COVID policy.

The Welcome Waggin' Pandemic Protocols: Due to the pandemic, we are unable to go inside of the homes for appointments. When we arrive the day of the appointment, we will call to let you know we are there and we will have you bring your pets outside to us secured by a leash, carrier, or wrapped in a towel. We can perform veterinary services in the yard, on a deck/porch/patio, or in the garage with the door open. We may also be able to take some animals back to our vehicle for veterinary services. We will be wearing personal protective gear and request for everyone to be wearing masks and maintain 6 feet of social distancing during the appointment. We are unable to allow pet parents to assist in restraining at this time. Please call our office if anyone in the house shows any signs of illness, tests positive for the virus, has contact with anyone who has tested positive for coronavirus, or traveled outside of the state of Illinois in the 14 days prior to the appointment.



Only masks and social distancing were mentioned when I initially called Welcome Waggin' to schedule the appointment. As I sat in bed with my cat on my lap a mere two hours before her date with death, I read the email in disbelief. The Welcome Waggin' website is spattered with false promises that owners and pets can be together in their favorite place during the procedure. Nowhere on their site at the time I read it was there any reference to having to perform services in the yard. What about pet-owners who live in apartments and condominiums with no private yard?

A call came in from the Welcome Waggin'. I asked her if they were serious about the protocols in the email or if it was just placating talk for the authorities. She said they absolutely were serious. I told her they were a deal-breaker. I said that either the service went down with me holding Kiki the entire time, and that I would not be wearing a mask in my own house, or no deal. She insisted that COVID protocols had to be followed and that I would hand Kiki, a cat who has never stepped onto our enclosed front porch, to a stranger who would then stick her with a needle in a van.

After a night of fitful sleep with my ailing cat, unfortunately I completely lost patience with the socially-conditioned corporate idiot on the other end of the line. I said, "Human to human, do you realize that far more people, including children, are dying of the jab than they are of COVID?" I did not use profanity, but I did unleash my frustration -- I told her that parents were fighting to get their children out of masks and winning in local school districts, and that the Plandemic was engineered to collapse small businesses in the name of luxury communism, and a host of other topics I have covered over the past year and a half on this blog. I said that I ran a group of 3400 people on Facebook dedicated to re-building the businesses the globalist Plandemic set out to destroy. She stated that she wasn't about to change her mind about Corona. I then told her that her karma for this was coming, and that by participating in mask and distancing theater, she had gotten herself all sorts of bad karma. I said "This is your karma for nurses who danced on TikTok while elders died. This is your karma for a billion lost rites of passage." She accused me of threatening her, to which I replied, "I'm not threatening you; karma is mere cause and effect. You did this to yourself."

Though I don't imagine my screed in her general direction was effective, I do know it will burrow under her skin. I have always had a talent for weaponizing subconscious Achille's heels.

Back to what is important, that being Kiki. She is doing OK today. So-so. Still not eating. Still gagging every few hours, which stops when I give her 5 mL of the elm mixture. Drinking water from the sink. Chilling by the open window. I'm not rescheduling the euthanasia despite having found a group of doctors that will come into the home without masks or COVID theater. They offered to come on Thursday and I have declined. Please pray for Kiki. Pray that I am not only bound from doing anything that harms her, but also that her life's end is exactly as it should be and free from human bumbling on my part and everyone else's. Thank you.




Date: 2021-07-13 07:58 pm (UTC)
lp9: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lp9
This is heartbreaking to read. I don't understand why they couldn't just come into someone's backyard, for example, and let the owner hold the pet on their lap during the euthanasia. What's the risk if everyone is outside? There's no way I would send a beloved pet into a van with a stranger for something like this. I'll be praying for Kiki.

Date: 2021-07-13 10:15 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] mollari
Honestly, this is the part of the last year and a bit which has irritated me the most: so many of the rules and "guidelines" are impossible to follow unless you have a detached home in the suburbs. I don't think it's cluelessness on their part anymore. I'm convinced it's malice, and I'm torn between whether I think it's mostly conscious or unconscious.

Date: 2021-07-14 11:53 am (UTC)
lp9: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lp9
That is a good point - I hadn't thought about that. We were lucky in that our apartments always had a least a little balcony or some sort of outside access.

Date: 2021-07-13 08:35 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] tamanous2020
Sorry to hear about the decline in Kiki's health and the steps and measures you've had to take as she nears the end of her life. I'm glad she got to spend this incarnation in such a loving home. I'll send a prayer her way for continued support.

And just another illustration of how the times have swept away the minds of those who had no anchors to cling to. May the gods help them work through that karma, now or later. They'll need all the help they can get.

Tamanous

Date: 2021-07-13 10:10 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] mollari
That makes sense to me: cats are a lot smarter than most people give them credit for, and also a lot more empathetic. So the idea that a cat would try to stay alive for someone strikes me as very plausible.

Date: 2021-07-13 09:15 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Aw, she looks like a giant (3x as big) version of our Tru.

Prayers for you, your husband, and for Kiki.

Also, I would say that taking care of her dietary needs in regards to meat makes you a good vegan. So pfui on those who would say otherwise!

BoysMom

Date: 2021-07-13 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Kiki is perhaps one of the cutest cats I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. I wish her the best.

thoughts and prayers

Date: 2021-07-13 11:19 pm (UTC)
randomactsofkarmasc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] randomactsofkarmasc
You were in my thoughts today and you and Kiki will be in my prayers again tonight. I've been where you are. Doing the right thing hurts; not doing the right thing hurts worse. It just sucks all the way round. I am glad you were able to find a vet that will make her ending more peaceful.

Date: 2021-07-14 12:06 am (UTC)
temporaryreality: (Default)
From: [personal profile] temporaryreality
May Kiki, who was blessed with your love in life, meet the next stage of her journey with anticipation and understanding. May she rejoice in remembering the depths of her soul and all the ways she grew and learned during her time with you.

May you and your husband always remember the joy you experienced by sharing her company and rest easy knowing you did everything you knew to do to make her life a good one.

You succeeded.

Incense lit and a prayer "sent out" to bless you all.

Heart

Date: 2021-07-14 12:24 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
No matter how many times I’ve done it, no matter how many deaths of pets I’ve witnessed, it never stops being hard.

Yet each animal friend has given me a gift and a teaching or many gifts and many teachings.

I’m ever grateful for how they mirror us.

May your heart heal and stay forever open.

Annette

Karmic Kitty

Date: 2021-07-14 03:36 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
What a beautiful feline!

Man, those Welcome Waggin' people did not sound too welcoming. And yet -- because of that, you & Kiki get to spend one more day together, which is great. Karma is weird, isn't it? Good things can come out of stupid things sometimes, it's a cause for hope, I suppose. Anyway, I'm sending a prayer out for both of you! Peace.

-- Tangerine C.F.

Date: 2021-07-14 01:51 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Kiki reminds me of my first cat, Zappa (he came with that name). He was a shy sweet gentleman, who adored my mom and never got over her death.

May Bast bless Kiki with surcease of pain, and enfold her in Her loving embrace, in this world and the next. May she be safe and peaceful and happy, and may your heart be healed.

--Sister Crow

Date: 2021-07-14 05:49 pm (UTC)
sh1njuk1: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sh1njuk1
I'm so sorry to hear this, Kimberly. I will send prayers for both her and you to find peace.

Our family cat also passed recently, and we were all blessed with how peaceful and pain-free the process ended up being. She wanted to be as close to us all as possible until the very end. Thank god we didn't have to take her into an office where the vets had lost their damn minds like the ones you describe here, and leave her alone among strangers to be jabbed in her final moments.

I've been keeping a tight hold on extreme frustration with the behavior of many people I have to interact with right now (just got off the phone with an HR person for a potential new job who essentially had no answer as to when or whether unvaccinated me would be allowed into the office, or precisely how many Kick Me! signs I would have to wear for the privilege--OR whether or not I could just choose to work from my damn home and skip the drama!) and I just want to say, don't feel too bad about losing it over the phone with that woman. I'm living vicariously through you!

I read below that you've found a better arrangement with saner professionals to help Kiki through her transition. Thank goodness. Make sure to take as good care of yourself as you can, too, in this difficult time.

Date: 2021-07-16 06:15 am (UTC)
sh1njuk1: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sh1njuk1
Politically, I am extremely glad to hear this. And even just a year ago I couldn't have imagined that I would write that and truly mean it...

This year has been a crucible for so many of us, hasn't it?

I truly believe that with a bond such as that you have written about, Kiki and you will travel together in incarnation again--maybe even many more times. She'll come find you, no doubt. Blessings to her on her journey, and you who are missing her deeply for a little while.

Date: 2021-07-15 01:37 am (UTC)
fringe_elemental: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fringe_elemental
Kimberly,
I'm sorry about what you are going through. I've been dwelling it all day and have sent many thoughts of love for you and Kiki, she is a beautiful girl.
First I'll comment on the insanity of the paranoia. I'm convinced that it's of demonic origin and we are fully engaged in a spiritual battle. I'm glad that you didn't give in, even though you thought your tirade fell on deaf ears. Something truly evil is afoot. And there is something creepy about the name "Welcome Waggin" as in a reference to a van where a loved one is euthanized with such a total lack of humanity. It's an inversion. A true satanic inversion. Welcome, indeed.
We bring these little beings into our lives and we know it will end in heartbreak but we sign a sort of contract with ourselves knowing this and we love them anyway. It's who we are. Can you imagine being any other way and living a life of material emptiness?
One beautiful night I was sitting outside with our little wild child, Juju and it turned into this magickal feeling of spiraling through the universe together, two small insignificant beings cruising through the cosmos, sharing that moment in time. Two totally different beings bonded and sharing a quiet moment. And it made my heart feel huge.
I've had to deal with this decision before, also. It has helped me to 'send ' them somewhere . In my mind. Somewhere beautiful, where they might be happy.
Chester is biding his time with a little old lady in an English cottage. She loves him endlessly and when he is outside, he lays in the soft green grass and the butterflies tease him.
After a similar struggle with a rescued feral that we brought into our home, I wrote this and will share it...

"Tuesday 5-17-16
I don't know why love has to come with such a price. For a little being that came into my life, just 2 Earthlings sharing the same spaces. When I rescued him I promised him that he'd never be cold & dirty & hungry again. We buried him last night in the back yard & it's been pouring ever since.
It's been so long since I've had any kind of personal diary, I don't even know how to write anymore, don't know how to express myself over the loss of our little Devil.
Our sweet little boy, sitting in the golden light at the foot of a Pharoah. Our funny guy, bringing smiles to the face of a king?
I can only hope, because he deserves it.
I would always play a little game with him when he laid on his carpet, I would say where I wanted him to take me tonight on his magic carpet. Yesterday I wished him to ancient Egypt & the power of my love made it so. "

Colleen

Profile

kimberlysteele: (Default)
Kimberly Steele

June 2025

S M T W T F S
1 234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 5th, 2025 02:43 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios