Bimbo in Space: In a World of Katy Perrys, be George Michael

For those who actually have vibrant, full lives: Katy Perry is a pop singer.  She sang at the Superbowl halftime show a few years ago.  

Katy Perry’s most recent publicity stunt was to take a rocket ship to the edge of space with a crew of five other women. The mission, if you can even call it that, was named Blue Origin, a generic, corporate shill moniker that would be entirely plausible as an overpriced cosmetics line or a stupidly expensive sushi restaurant. The all-female excursion that did not even break orbit cost a cool billion dollars and pumped out more carbon emissions in one shot than a billion people create in a lifetime. Jeff Bezo’s latest wife, a heavily plastic-surgeried pilot turned glamour puss, was in the group. The trip in its entirety was done to show the triumph of feminism — over what we will never know — and only took eleven minutes start to finish. Jeff Bezos, who financed it, is using it to launch his latest scheme of Space Rides for Rich People. Anyone can go on an incredibly wasteful tour of near space if he or she can cough up 150 grand in cash. The internet had a field day with the mission, with the funniest of memes invoking the rocket ship scene from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999). Blue Origin was by CIA spooks, for CIA spooks, and that is why the flight list included Katy Perry and Gayle King, Oprah’s best friend. Facing relentless mockery, Gayle King attempted to defend the jaunt after the fact, and was downright pissy about it. Ms. King defended the extravagance with her very own “Let ‘em eat cake” phrase: “Have y’all been to space?” and of course the internet, led by TikTok, said “No, Gayle, you probably need to be able to afford health insurance to do that.”

To state the extremely obvious, Katy Perry is not the brightest crayon in the box. I would guesstimate her IQ to be in the high 80s at best. That is why we have to take her lifestyle choices with a few grains of salt — she’s nearly in the Special category, if you get my drift, and we cannot expect a person who nearly rode the short bus to make consistently excellent decisions. Regardless of derp, when a person becomes extraordinarily wealthy and famous, it can go several ways. In Katy’s case, it has gone the way of the Wendigo. The Wendigo as most of you know is a Native American creature of legend. It is a formidable blend of cannibal and zombie that was once human. A Wendigo is created when a person tastes human flesh and develops an insatiable appetite for human meat. Yet the more the Wendigo eats, the thinner and hungrier it becomes.

Katy Perry has one or more Wendigo spirits attached to her — one craves influence, hence her absurd, vain album releases under the guise of empowering women and constant cringe faux-enlightened posturing. Another one of Katy’s Wendigos is real estate. She has destroyed more than one elderly person’s life by forcing the purchase of their homes she fancied those residences. She once roped an actual nun into circumstances that most likely caused the elderly nun’s death on the courtroom floor because she wanted to buy the abbey. Katy constantly dives into drama over houses she covets for herself, despite owning multiple large homes, which tells me she longs for a true home of the sort that money cannot buy. I’ll be talking about that true sense of home in my upcoming 2026 book, Sacred Homemaking, which is an occult take on the tidying genre.

George Michael at the height of Wham!'s fame

The day to Katy Perry’s night is George Michael, a world famous singer who died in 2016. George Michael, who was half of the group called Wham!, was one of the 1980s biggest stars and most likely went through the whole disgusting Hollywood groomer mill with the best of them. Unlike in Katy Perry’s case, whatever happened did not turn George Michael into a monster. He turned into an angel. George Michael donated huge amounts of money in secret. He secretly volunteered to help causes he believed in despite being a literal rock star. Revelations of just how charitable and utterly selfless he was were only forthcoming after his death at age 53 because he deliberately tried to keep it all on the down low. When he saw a woman on the TV show Deal or No Deal say that she could not afford IVF treatment, he secretly called the next day and gave her 15,000 pounds. She ended up naming the son she conceived via the treatment after him. He regularly left 5000 pound tips with waitresses and waiters. Entire charities said that his millions kept them afloat for years, and these are only the ones we were able to find out about. Had George Michael met a bunch of nuns who were going to lose their sanctuary instead of Katy Perry, there is no doubt in my mind he would have bought the property for them at a much inflated cost just so they could stay there as long as they wanted.

Like many greedy people, Katy Perry will remain in a state of Wendigo-driven stasis until she lets go of her fear. The gods are patient and are willing to let this process take many excruciating lifetimes. I personally would not trade places with Katy Perry for all the world, because much of her wealth is unearned. Like many who amass unearned wealth, she has failed to understand she can and will be earning it back in future lifetimes. Or maybe she does understand it deep down and it causes even more dissonance in her fractured brain. Generosity sublimates to the power of seven, and that’s why George Michael’s soul was likely able to have a great deal more autonomy after he died. Katy Perry won’t be so lucky. This is why it is so important to cultivate generosity and gratitude in equal measure. It’s not just that Katy Perry is going to get the short end of the stick later on in her future incarnations, it’s that she is horrible now. She does not act like a happy person. She acts like a person with a Wendigo. She is the author of her own destruction because she lacks humility, grace, and inner beauty. Nevertheless, it’s never too early or late to stop lying to yourself. As George Michael proved, compulsive generosity is the fastest shortcut to heal the heart, but it isn’t the only path. Though I doubt she will do anything differently, I will always maintain that no person is beyond redemption, even if that person is a space cadet bimbo.