Nah, I see all the Cos Doc posts, but I have already got a religion I am happy with, so they are not of much interest to me-- I skip those. It is entirely possible I've still picked up some of the tidbits through osmosis, as I'm sure those discussions trickle into all the other discussion threads. I've definitely seen the "what you contemplate, you imitate" thing come up repeatedly ;) It rings true.
But also, it's a thing I dealt with in my youth, repeatedly --see previous comment on anger, forgiving, etc-- I have a sibling who was never able to do that, with a considerably more traumatic school experience. Constantly gets jerked around by whatever dumpster-fire-of-the-week issue, struggles with chronic depression, etc etc. It's an ugly pit to be in, and it could easily have been me. I'm now convinced that grudges are the root cause of most depression. Make the things and people you hate the center of your life, and you become all that hate. It ain't healthy. It's like having a huge infected cyst, and instead of lancing and disinfecting it, you protect and nurture that thing like a pet tumor.
It's one of those lovely fractal concepts that's so true it works on all levels, big and small. It's the same deal when I coach my kids that "we don't talk about what we don't like". Like, it's OK if you don't like mushrooms or squash, and you can say "no thank you" to it-- but end it there. Don't say "eeew! I HATE those! Gross!" and then spend five minutes elaborating on every way you don't like it and why. It's not just rude, it's giving that thing way more importance than it warrants, and you're imposing your negativity on everybody around you. Don't give away your power to a *squash*, for pete's sake. OTOH, if you can learn the concept with a nice safe enemy like squash, then with any luck it'll be transferrable to bigger problems later :)
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-06-08 07:49 pm (UTC)But also, it's a thing I dealt with in my youth, repeatedly --see previous comment on anger, forgiving, etc-- I have a sibling who was never able to do that, with a considerably more traumatic school experience. Constantly gets jerked around by whatever dumpster-fire-of-the-week issue, struggles with chronic depression, etc etc. It's an ugly pit to be in, and it could easily have been me. I'm now convinced that grudges are the root cause of most depression. Make the things and people you hate the center of your life, and you become all that hate. It ain't healthy. It's like having a huge infected cyst, and instead of lancing and disinfecting it, you protect and nurture that thing like a pet tumor.
It's one of those lovely fractal concepts that's so true it works on all levels, big and small. It's the same deal when I coach my kids that "we don't talk about what we don't like". Like, it's OK if you don't like mushrooms or squash, and you can say "no thank you" to it-- but end it there. Don't say "eeew! I HATE those! Gross!" and then spend five minutes elaborating on every way you don't like it and why. It's not just rude, it's giving that thing way more importance than it warrants, and you're imposing your negativity on everybody around you. Don't give away your power to a *squash*, for pete's sake. OTOH, if you can learn the concept with a nice safe enemy like squash, then with any luck it'll be transferrable to bigger problems later :)