THIS. I hated being an economic burden. I wanted to work from a young age because it seemed like the right thing to do. I got lucky that I chose music and that I accidentally picked a school that forced me to learn musical notation, instrumentation, and orchestration the hard way. Otherwise I would now be as useless as any other PMC drone, frustrated because my life had no meaning and because my skill set was infinitely replaceable by the next young, hungry college grad. Middle age is not a good time to realize you've spent more than half your life subsisting by sucking up and then medicating the pain by hyperconsuming the plethora of products marketed your way. Yet that is where most of the salary class finds itself... in a frenetic game of musical chairs with an array of monkeys to carry upon one's back.
I remember as a kid being conscious of the seedy nature of the suburban family model of living. We truly were atomized and it is not surprising that it got much worse over time. At this point, there isn't much to be done except live my life and let the rest of it fall apart. I'm one of the few people I know who has stuck to her family and refused to atomize. We will be atomized soon enough by the forces of time and mortality.
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Date: 2022-07-29 04:45 am (UTC)I remember as a kid being conscious of the seedy nature of the suburban family model of living. We truly were atomized and it is not surprising that it got much worse over time. At this point, there isn't much to be done except live my life and let the rest of it fall apart. I'm one of the few people I know who has stuck to her family and refused to atomize. We will be atomized soon enough by the forces of time and mortality.