The library project is on hold. I am going to label my existing catalog with Dewey Decimal system call numbers. I have gotten through about 75 books so far.
What happened was that I planned on combining a library with my music studio when it was a commercial space, but there simply has not been enough interest in my area even among Speakeasy moms and dads. I'm now teaching out of my small home and the space is not adequate to turn into a library.
For now, the library system is all we have got because people like me either don't have time, space, or money to create alternatives. Unfortunately, quite a few of the books people borrowed via mail were never returned, so it began to feel like I could not lend out a book via mail (and sadly one very special book lended in person) without high risk of losing it. At some point, I would like to acquire a commercial space for it, but right now it is completely off the table as it is still a struggle to make ends meet, though it is significantly better than a few months ago. So please no more books at this point. I will let people know when I am ready to start collecting books again, if the gods grant the grace for that to happen.
I know this is going to be a very "no-duh" sort of observation, but one thing that Trump Derangement Syndrome has really highlighted for me is the extent to which responding to one's fears by being irrational, childish, demanding, and "temper-tantrumy" makes the feared thing more likely to materialize into reality. Case in point, back in 2014, somebody like me would never have even considered voting for Trump in an election. Now I'm at the point where it's not possible to talk me out of it! And the TDS crowd have nobody but themselves and their childish hysterics (and let's not forget that Covid/ vaxx fanaticism are mere outgrowths of TDS) to thank for the fact that there are more Trump-voters now than there were in 2016.
100%. The people who hate Trump the most have only themselves to blame for making him seem far more appealing and popular than he actually is. This is classic Cosmic Doctrine stuff -- never hate that which you don't want to empower. I myself am neutral towards Trump. He did pretty well as a president but I would prefer it if RFK was "the one". Most likely that will never happen. If RFK gets in, they'll likely do to him what they did to his relatives. Back when Biden "won" the election, I made the decision not to care about politics at all. It's a crapshow, we're a third world banana republic, the dream is over, and I don't care. I just have to do my level best to survive and my guitar and piano aren't going to practice themselves.
I nearly felt the same about RFK until he went full Ibram X Kendi and confirmed that he's all aboard the race division narrative. My sincere hope is that he's simply outdated and uninformed about the modern state of race and racism and that he can come around on this, but his take on it feels like he's completely out of touch
Oh wow! Since I have tuned out so much, I had no idea. I will certainly look into it. Just my opinion but he doesn't have the remotest chance of becoming president. I don't think he will make it past the primaries.
Also, the Covid-19 debacle never would have happened or would have been a giant nothingburger if Trump had not been elected. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
I too long for fall. There are some things I like about summer - the garden, the fresh produce, fireflies and butterflies and the sound of insects at night - but on the whole, I prefer cooler weather.
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And on a totally unrelated note, I'm still struggling with this, so I'm going to throw it out there -
Is anyone else still struggling/conflicted/upset with/by difficult emotions related to people you "lost" during covid?
People who I didn't see for over two years because they were cowering in terror over the coof keep reaching out to me and wanting to chat, get together, have lunch, what have you. These aren't people I actually fought with, mainly because when they went cootie-crazy I just went dark. Most of them probably assumed I was on board with their cootie mania and subsequent jabapalooza, and have no idea where I stand (or how Unclean I am) because I never argued with them, just avoided them. (Sometimes I think maybe I should have spoken out, but I guess I have avoidant rather than confrontational coping mechanisms, probably due in part to my own upbringing where arguing with a crazy family never helped, so I stopped trying and just plotted my escape.) Back away, not today was my default.
I'm not even mad at these people, I just don't see the point of reconnecting. I have a smaller circle of newer friends who I was able to actually SEE back in 2020-2021, and who never cared about my medical history. I've moved on.
But it feels weird. Sometimes I can't believe that I was friends with these people for SO LONG, but never really knew them. I know that if I came out and told them why I've been ghosting them, they'd think that I was the one who'd gone crazy. Sometimes I wonder if I AM crazy, to want to cut ties with people I was close to for, in some case, going on 3 decades. But when I think about "reconnecting" with them, I just feel weary and disinterested. Coming across old photos of us together feels like looking at someone else's life.
The issues isn't whether or not to reconnect - I know, deep down, that I don't want to, and Kimberly's Ogham has confirmed as much. But at the same time, I feel like I'm going through something like mourning, only I can't really talk to anyone about it, and there is a lack of closure. And, of course, the constant wondering if maybe I'm crazy to still be so upset by what I witnessed, when everyone else seems to have "moved on". I suspect that I may in fact be processing something akin to subtle trauma.
Anyhow, just wondering if anyone else out there still feels anything similar, and how you've been handling it.
I have learned to accept there is no such thing as closure with old relationships, even when you do a cut and clear on them. The emotions pop up from time to time, shame often being a primary one, and I have to deal with them. The Coof thing was weird because it taught me that the sort of person I used to like and trust -- artsy, bohemian, smart, articulate, and edgy -- can often be the most toxic of Stalinists. I was especially disgusted to see supposedly peace-loving hippies get on board with Covidmania. As a vegan, I find I have almost no tolerance for other vegans in general because they went for the quaxx narrative despite Fauci's crew being outed as a bunch of animal-torturing sickos. I don't feel anyone who got the quaxx understood they were completely reneging on veganism when they got it. For what it's worth, I find that my solitary hikes in forest preserves are very healing.
When Pluto dipped its toe into Aquarius during April, May, and June, I felt the pressure of the Lower Astral Black Oobleck lessen just enough for me to notice, but then it thickened back up again when Pluto retrograded back into Capricorn (and that Mars-Venus Conjunction squaring Uranus certainly didn't help). That causes me to hold out some hope that we will be able get a handle on the intensity of the LABO situation once Pluto makes its real entry into Aquarius at the start of 2024.
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Steve Kirsch testifies about vaccines causing autism.
Subscription library
(Anonymous) 2023-07-04 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)If my memory serves me, you postponed collecting books for a subscription library due to Covid crisis FUBARness. Is this still the case?
If not, I’ve got some books I’d love to send to the project. Please let me know.
Annette
Re: Subscription library
What happened was that I planned on combining a library with my music studio when it was a commercial space, but there simply has not been enough interest in my area even among Speakeasy moms and dads. I'm now teaching out of my small home and the space is not adequate to turn into a library.
For now, the library system is all we have got because people like me either don't have time, space, or money to create alternatives. Unfortunately, quite a few of the books people borrowed via mail were never returned, so it began to feel like I could not lend out a book via mail (and sadly one very special book lended in person) without high risk of losing it. At some point, I would like to acquire a commercial space for it, but right now it is completely off the table as it is still a struggle to make ends meet, though it is significantly better than a few months ago. So please no more books at this point. I will let people know when I am ready to start collecting books again, if the gods grant the grace for that to happen.
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(Anonymous) 2023-07-05 10:27 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
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(Anonymous) 2023-07-08 10:01 pm (UTC)(link)I too long for fall. There are some things I like about summer - the garden, the fresh produce, fireflies and butterflies and the sound of insects at night - but on the whole, I prefer cooler weather.
----
And on a totally unrelated note, I'm still struggling with this, so I'm going to throw it out there -
Is anyone else still struggling/conflicted/upset with/by difficult emotions related to people you "lost" during covid?
People who I didn't see for over two years because they were cowering in terror over the coof keep reaching out to me and wanting to chat, get together, have lunch, what have you. These aren't people I actually fought with, mainly because when they went cootie-crazy I just went dark. Most of them probably assumed I was on board with their cootie mania and subsequent jabapalooza, and have no idea where I stand (or how Unclean I am) because I never argued with them, just avoided them. (Sometimes I think maybe I should have spoken out, but I guess I have avoidant rather than confrontational coping mechanisms, probably due in part to my own upbringing where arguing with a crazy family never helped, so I stopped trying and just plotted my escape.) Back away, not today was my default.
I'm not even mad at these people, I just don't see the point of reconnecting. I have a smaller circle of newer friends who I was able to actually SEE back in 2020-2021, and who never cared about my medical history. I've moved on.
But it feels weird. Sometimes I can't believe that I was friends with these people for SO LONG, but never really knew them. I know that if I came out and told them why I've been ghosting them, they'd think that I was the one who'd gone crazy. Sometimes I wonder if I AM crazy, to want to cut ties with people I was close to for, in some case, going on 3 decades. But when I think about "reconnecting" with them, I just feel weary and disinterested. Coming across old photos of us together feels like looking at someone else's life.
The issues isn't whether or not to reconnect - I know, deep down, that I don't want to, and Kimberly's Ogham has confirmed as much. But at the same time, I feel like I'm going through something like mourning, only I can't really talk to anyone about it, and there is a lack of closure. And, of course, the constant wondering if maybe I'm crazy to still be so upset by what I witnessed, when everyone else seems to have "moved on". I suspect that I may in fact be processing something akin to subtle trauma.
Anyhow, just wondering if anyone else out there still feels anything similar, and how you've been handling it.
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Pluto in Aquarius