kimberlysteele | Men in Trouble

Entry tags:

Men in Trouble

I used to get mad when other drivers, almost always male, would advance on my car from behind and then quickly swerve into an open lane in order to pass me. I often drive five miles over the limit, but it is never enough for Anxious Dude hot-rodding around the suburbs in his souped-up Nissan with a vestigial spoiler. After about six or seven years of the calming influence of the Sphere of Protection and daily discursive meditation, I noticed that suddenly what used to make me beside myself with irritation no longer bothered me. I don't find myself perturbed anymore by Anxious Dude because I now realize that his swerving and aggressive driving comes from a set of impulses that make him a man. For me, owning a car is almost pure bad faith and a curse that I have in part chosen because I did not move to a walkable city somewhere in Europe or the UK to escape American car culture as a young woman. For him, driving isn't so bad: he has a knack for it. He likes to go fast and drive recklessly. He's a boy and boys will be boys, vroom vroom.

Feminization

I got a sandwich to go at one of the many fast-casual restaurants that bless my area the other day. A portly young man with a beard retrieved the sandwich from the kitchen area. When he spoke, his voice was about an octave higher than what one would expect and though he wasn't dressed in an effeminate fashion, he gave me an entirely female vibe. Though it is possible he was transitioning, it is not the first time I have run into young men who don't seem to have any maleness about them.

In the book Our Stolen Future, scientist Theo Colborn speculates that chemical byproducts that mimic hormones are causing the feminization of animal and human populations. The chemical constituents of RoundUp from Monsanto end up in a polar bear in the Arctic; there is no escape for anyone on this planet. Endocrine disruption is the inevitable result, and endocrine disruption causes a laundry list of woes, including birth defects, stunted intelligence, autoimmune disorders, and infertility.

Fragile Males

Maleness is inherently fragile. Regardless of chromosomes, we all begin in the womb as females: for guys, their ovaries descend and become testes. The long process of becoming male is fraught with danger from Moment One in the womb. Males are always fighting. Male sperm fight to get to the egg... There can be only one, or maybe two in the case of fraternal twins. Then the male chromosomes assert themselves as XY. No staying within a homogenous XX lane for them! Enter plastic chemicals and the toxic soup of heavy metals, dioxin, and the latest miracle of MRNA quaxxines and it is a wonder that the human race is still a thing. If the male is not physically feminized to near-death in utero, there are plenty of well-meaning doctors who would like to inject him with an array of FDA-approved concoctions the second he emerges from his mother. If he survives, there's always someone who wants him to drink toxic baby formula and to get circumcised.

Wars

I hate organized sports. I probably would not have hated them if my idiot teachers from Grades K-8 had not forced me to participate in junior versions of them. Nevertheless, I was forced into sports every school day from age 5 until 17 because Gym class is mandatory in Illinois; it's actually Illinois law and we are the only state in the Union that has that law.

Sports are how society deals with males in absence of wars. Sports resemble small wars: two teams opposed to each other fight over a ball as symbolic resource. A sports fan once confided in me that he loved the feeling of belonging when he watched a game. Without sports, many guys don't have a tribe outside of immediate family. They are wolves cast out of the pack.

The modern incarnation of organized sports is a poor substitute for wars though because it is passive and based on spectatorship. The pot-bellied sports fan crushing his umpteenth beer on the couch stereotype exists for good reason. Organized sports are feminizing. They turn purposeful, earnest men into couch potatoes, alcoholics, and gamblers.

The Woke

Disney has been on a spree of trying to recapture its glory days by making its cartoon classics from the 80s and 90s as live action films. Disney remade Lion King this way -- basically it was an awkward, musical nature documentary... very weird. It enjoyed modest success nevertheless, especially in China.

The Little Mermaid is Disney's latest live action remake set to be released this week. Little Mermaid replaces the red headed, white titular character Ariel with a black woman played by singer/actress Halle Bailey. Halle Bailey was sent to do a promotional press junket in Mexico, where interviewer Patricio Borghetti graciously gushed about her beauty and captivating performance. Without any context or apparent motivation, Bailey viciously accused Borghetti of racist microaggressions and now refuses to do "unprepared" interviews.

Bailey is far from conventionally beautiful and obviously deeply insecure. Her invocation of racism is vile and disgusting, in my opinion, and as someone who is exactly as white as Barack Obama, I think people who manipulate white guilt in such a fashion should be permanently ostracized, disenfranchised, and ignored. Halle Bailey does not deserve a singing or an acting career if this is the way she is going to behave. There are plenty of young women far more talented, beautiful, and deserving than she will ever be. I could use one of my own rare talents decimate what's left of her career in a single word -- the only hint I will give is that it's a scathing reference to another creative work -- instead I choose to exercise restraint. Plus, she is doing a fine job ruining her career all on her own.

Men cannot win against this sort of wretch. If Bailey wasn't crying about race, she would be inventing other travesties whole cloth. Borghetti came back saying the comments he made were said with love. If I were him, I would have refused to say that worthless, race-baiting slag's name ever again. Halle who?

Sleeping With the Enemy: Men Who Hate Women

The fascinating thing about Don Juans and wannabe Don Juans is their hatred of women. I know many men who are as irritated by Sex and the City as there are women who hate organized sports and video games. The animosity comes from the portrayal of women as obnoxious Don Juans: it's not fun to look at that kind of self-hatred in the mirror.

In his book Bang, former pickup artist Roosh V spends all of one page on the sexual act, dealing with it in a vague and perfunctory way that suggests that for all his braggadocio, he wasn't all that interested in having sex with women. More telling is how few aging pickup artists have settled down with an elusive "dream female" waifu and had children. Roosh is 43 and despite having rediscovered the Christian faith of his upbringing, he has yet to heterosexually reproduce.

If you don't genuinely respect those with XX chromosomes as human and manifest this animosity spend most of your adult life attempting to trap them like an exterminator does to rodents, it seems you will have a bad time when the time belatedly arrives to live all the heterosexual values you pretended to espouse. Pickup artists are not homosexual though. That would be far too easy. Instead, they are autosexual, which is a euphemistic term for a masturbator with a god complex. A far simpler epithet and one I would like to coin right now is Narcissosexual. A Narcissosexual would happily have raucous sex with their own doppelganger if such a thing were possible, and the preferred offspring would be a Brave New World of self-clones. Hopefully Roosh V has left his Don Juan past behind and hopefully divine powers are helping him to ameliorate some of the damage he has done. There will be other Narcissosexuals who arise in his place and they will be just as gay with themselves as he was.

All of the above phenomenon are predicaments and they will go on unsolved as predicaments go. As for the effeminate male problem, I believe it is an issue of nature as much or more as nurture, and I will maintain my stance about destigmatizing teenage pregnancy in order to create a hardier, less feminized male of the species. As far as sports and wars, I am now at the age where I can choose to avoid all sports, and the only thing I can suggest is for those who have children to PLEASE GIVE THEM A CHOICE about sports, and pull them out of schools that force participation. It should probably be clear that to ignore Wokesters is my own personal policy, and I have even got to the point where I won't condescend to permanently sully their images with a well-placed witticism because they aren't worth my fire. Lastly, the pathetic spectacle of the Narcissosexual is hardly worthy of anyone's attention: just recognize them as the jokes they are and move on.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You may find this article by Ross Douthat on his wife's book The Mom Gene interesting in light of your comments above under Fragile Males - https://douthat.substack.com/p/mom-genes-and-fathers-day

The To-Read list grows ever longer! I like how she called it the Mom Gene... get it, Mom Jeans? LOL Yes, I'm a total juvenile.

I enjoyed that book quite a bit. I knew motherhood would change me. But I underestimated how much. It was fun to learn some of the why's and hows that happened.

Also, I really loved Abigail Tucker's earlier book - The Lion in the Living Room: How House Cats Tamed Us.

Heloise

Ooh, that's another one for the To-Read list! She sounds like a fascinating mind. Plus the depth of information of WHY motherhood changes us women so profoundly is intriguing. It also sheds light on why it is so heartbreaking to not be able to have a child when that's all you ever wanted; it's not like it is a picnic, but to see others realizing themselves in that way while you wait on the sidelines, ugh. For me, it was never the case in this current incarnation to want a baby, but I have definitely seen it in action. It also reveals why it is so monstrous to force a woman to carry an unwanted baby to term.

Sports... ugh. But I know now what the problem was: zero aerobic capacity. I can walk, or bike at a leisurely pace, all day long. If cross-country walking (like, for distance not speed) were a sport, I'd be competitive. As soon as I'm asked to run? Stabbing pain in my side, and it's like the battery gets sucked dry instantly. I feel like I'm dying. And it has always been this way, no matter how hard I tried to *build* some capacity. I can get a little bit better--not much-- and then I hit a wall. Whatever that is (and I suspect it's metabolic), it means any sport more strenuous than billiards is not for me. My kids are involved in 1 competitive sport: archery. I don't have to run around. They don't have to run around. There are no teams. And the parents don't yell. We are all happy with this arrangement ;)

I'm brokenhearted for the young men in my family-- the ones in the 18-25 range right now seem so lifeless. I don't remember boys being like that when I was that age. Like you, I'm inclined to blame chemical poisoning. I mean, there's a lot you can blame on tech and porn, but I doubt those things would cause the chubby faces I'm seeing. I'm obviously not asking them about sexual performance issues, but... the rate of girlfriends (or boyfriends for that matter) among them is distressingly low. Are they even interested?

I had similar issues! No stabbing pains, but hyperventilation because I have always had a severely deviated septum (you'll know I've hit the big time if I ever get it surgically corrected) and I can barely breathe out of my nose. I can walk FOREVER though, 5 miles and I do not even feel it. My feet end up hurting because of hard ground or bad shoes long before I tire out. If I ever end up homeless, I will go hike the Appalachian Trail for whatever is left of my life. How funny that now we are all 50 and all of my former gym class-loving peers get winded if they go up two flights of stairs. I knew this at the time -- huffing and puffing while you slam balls around is not sustainable for the long term.

Yeah, the chubby, skinny jeans, bearded-yet-metrosexual youth is a fixture around here, as is his pudgy female counterpart who sports fabulous eye makeup and light purple hair that took a major bleach job to achieve. They are sweet kids who don't seem interested at all in sex (though like you, there is nothing on this Earth that could make me ask) and who give me the vibe of constant, low-key, severe depression. That's why I have been making TikTok videos encouraging them to reach out to the Divine, to do the Sphere of Protection, and to learn discursive meditation.

Hello! You mentioned your blog on JMG's blog and I had an hour to spend.

I just read this article https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2022/09/inside-anti-abortion-groups-campaign-to-sell-women-on-unreliable-birth-control-alternatives/

about anti-abortion groups trying to get women to use the rhythm method and I was just amazed that in that whole long article they don't say anything about all of the hormone-like compounds that all of us are constantly being exposed to. I mean, it's amazing that periods come on a regular schedule at all. Also amazing that there are men who are still masculine enough to want to procreate. Honestly, from what little I'd read about it, it sounded as though most of the hormone-like substances out there are more like estrogen than testosterone.

And then you mentioned a book about it!

I teach classes on poisonous plants and at the beginning of my classes I've said that I would not discuss abortifacients. Before I really started to seriously research poisonous plants I thought that any abortifacient plant was pretty much going to be a poisonous plant that was just in a dose slightly low enough to maybe not kill the mother. This is not accurate.

Do you remember when Mountain Dew was popular because it was supposed to kill sperm? I do! Turns out most birth control foods and abortifacient plants are used in food. Especially French food for some reason. Eve's Herbs by John Riddle is the best book I've found so far about it. I made a list on my own blog: https://wordpress.com/post/kalaravonmerelochs.wordpress.com/506 though admittedly many of those plants are meant to mitigate the effects of the plants that do the job. Anything flavored with juniper, mint, or tansy is at least suspect, if not the Mountain Dew of the pre-industrial era.

Thanks for your comment!

The sad thing about humans, especially fetal humans, is that they are easy to sicken and hard to kill. We live in an era where it is seen as good and "kind" to prolong the lives of malformed, sickly infants as long as possible through techno-triumphalism. I think this is one of the many reasons why I was so terrified of getting pregnant all throughout my reproductive years even after I had a tubal ligation in my early 30s -- a bunch of creeps, including but not confined to Christian pro-lifers, would have forced me not only to carry an infant to term, but also would have castigated me into prolonging the life of a severely handicapped infant if that is what I ended up with.

I mentioned on your blog that I used to take tiny doses of pennyroyal to bring on my period. Girls and women do the same thing now with super-doses of Vitamin C. I always thought that Mountain Dew rumor was a joke, but it does make sense, if for no other reason than Mountain Dew has a large amount of caffeine. I also mentioned the film Portrait of a Lady on fire, where a woman resorts to having an abortion provided by a local midwife when the usual abortifacient herbs do not work.

Thanks for the book recommendation! Yet another for the To-Read/To-Own list...

trying to get women to use the rhythm method

Not to get too TMI, but then again I did not initiate the discussion -

Speaking from the experience where my wife and I, through fifteen years of marriage and multiple beautiful children, have only ever used Natural Family Planning, I must point out that modern NFP is not the "rhythm method". It's a different, more reliable method, if used properly, for many/most women whose cycles are regular and so forth.

My cycle was regular for most of the years I had it. NFP seems like a much better option than hormonal bc. I was on hormonal bc for years and I believe it cost me my gallbladder. I nearly died of gallbladder disease in my 20s. I wonder how many women have died from hormonal bc side effects and their loved ones had no idea?

I've noticed the wussification of men in the media for several years now, and also in my daily movements through life. Examples are the suburban man sporting that ridiculous sweater over the shoulder look while driving a car in some ad to the cashier at 7-11 with the tiny little soft looking hands. They literally look like I could crush them with a good solid handshake! And physically they are usually pale and soft.
We are both working people, I met my hubby when I entered the sheet metal/ machining aerospace manufacturing over 20 years ago and I've always loved his big, muscular hands.
Besides first impressions, as soon as I'm able I notice the hands.
Then when going to a big box home improvement store, there's a long haired effeminate man... he's died his hair with purple accents or something and kinda reminded me of Steve Perry from Journey but Steve Perry was still all man with a voice that soared like a bird. ( Whether he stuffed his pants or not, but I digress)
And there's the young person at the convenience store - he's a biological male but feminized in the latest approved way including long fake nails with lots of bling. He's actually attractive in a strange androgynous way.
The divine androgyne. All of this goes back to the religious beliefs of those who rule the world. And they are doing a great job with their agenda.
I know, I'm all over the place but these are just some random thoughts.

Maybe I'm just a bitch but I've always hated long, fake nails. They advertise the wearer as useless and tacky. On a biological man it seems worse. A man who does not know how to work with his hands had better have a sparkling personality or a scathing wit, because otherwise absolutely nothing is being brought to the table. It's almost a guarantee the personality is as dull as the hair and nails are flashy though... kind of goes with the territory. A bunch of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Regarding Narcissosexuals: something else occurs to me, which is something that my friend Jasun Horsley often writes about, which is the mother-bonded male psyche. A very large number of guy-problems can probably be traced back to this, because men need to become something different from their mothers, or even the boy that was born from their mother.

If the process of individuation is interrupted (which it usually is, at least to some degree, unless one is lucky enough to live in an exceptionally healthy tribe or culture), you end up with a man who is still enmeshed with his mother's psyche on some level. It struck me as I was thinking about this in relation to your piece, that the PUA/player-type is a stunted man-boy for whom no woman could ever replace his Mamma, and hence cannot form a healthy, mature relationship with any woman - and thus cycles through them.

None of the men like this that I've known have ever seemed particularly 'happy' - it's a pretty sad and sordid existence they lead!

Here in bougie Chicagoland, we have a special breed for whom the moniker "stunted man-boy" sums it up. He's not necessarily a player though -- he quickly becomes a 30 year old virgin, and then the 40 year old who either hastily marries his baby mama or never sires children at all. Also, if he is salary class, it is almost a guarantee he will ditch his salary class parents until they become elderly enough for him to return just in time to receive his inheritance. The ones who were good looking and confident enough to become players frequently marry games and pornography on the DL, and there's not many women who can compete with whatever allure porn and games have to offer. I have not given it as much thought as it deserves, but their addictive personalities certainly seem rooted in being financially coddled by mommy well into adulthood.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Men in Trouble

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Our Stolen Future is something I will definitely read.

Re: Our Stolen Future is something I will definitely read.

Re: Our Stolen Future is something I will definitely read.

Re: Our Stolen Future is something I will definitely read.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject