Kimberly Steele (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kimberlysteele) wrote2020-12-09 01:10 pm
kimberlysteele) wrote2020-12-09 01:10 pm
Entry tags:
The Astral Bog
I was hagged yesterday morning. I was walking down a flight of stairs in a dream. A shadowy thing was headed in the opposite direction. As we crossed paths, it forced me through itself and latched on to my back. It tried to force me to invite it into my body. Of course I said no. I called on Poseidon via my memorized Orphic hymn -- it clung on despite my invocation, though not as strongly. It was still there when I woke up, slithering around my neck and head and chattering away in my ears.
I took a hoodoo bath immediately upon rising, deeper than usual, which was a rude wake up call. (I've gotten soft due to my lifestyle of modern suburban luxury.) The bath seemed to dislodge the Thing that wanted to go for a ride. During that morning's Sphere of Protection, I saw it ushered back to the Abyss by two tall figures and a third in the background.
Despite doing the Sphere of Protection every day for nearly three years, discursive meditation for over three years, daily prayer, and divination, I still have scary bouts on the astral. Approximately three weeks ago, another entity slimed me in much the same manner as today.
I had my first vivid astral travel experience/lucid dream around the age of four. The experience was remarkably similar to this morning's hagging. Just as some people naturally draw mosquitoes more than others, I draw incorporeal entities of all sorts. This was the case when I was raised Christian, when I became Wiccan as a teen, when I discarded Wicca for a long stint of atheism, and it is still the case now as I study Druidry. Nothing has truly changed about my attractiveness to entities fair and foul except my ability to shield myself via Druid rituals and mind-strengthening, and for that shielding I am eternally grateful.
The abilities I have with unseen beings can often be of great comfort and a source of happiness: because of my natural ability to communicate with the unseen, I have been able to assist dead loved ones and friends with crossing over. I walk into the forest preserve and I get the same rush a natural extrovert gets from walking into a crowded party -- I talk to trees, houses, bodies of water, patches of air, and I'm beginning to be able to talk to certain animals. Sensitivity, I have learned, is a balance. I have always been extremely sensitive and only Druidry got through to me enough so I could learn to harness it.
I'm not alone in my sensitivity, of course, but I am one of the lucky few sensitives who was in the right time at the right place. Druidry was my saving grace; Christianity simply didn't work for me and I have no passion for Eastern religions such as Shintoism or the practice of yoga. Sensitives like me tend to get sucked into believing we are "star children" or worse, being lured into atheist demonolatry with its edgelord posturing and improvised black candle spells.
Both the Rhonda Byrne-esque positivity movement and atheist "witches" have much to answer for in the current state of the astral plane. We are in an astral cesspool. Banishing ritual or not, there is precious little between us and a boiling bog of eternal stench. The Professional Managerial set and atheist warlocks/witches have chosen to swim through without even the benefit of a raft. Antifa/BLM and the Magic Resistance gleefully slide down the chute to the sewers with their foul toxic feminism, their inability to discriminate a blunt hammer applied to public discourse (their penchant for gaslighting and foul language), protests (riots), and magic (demonolatry). On the other side, toxic masculinity bleats about the importance of reseeding and restoring Christendom, never understanding that wasting away in front of a computer screen is perhaps the best possible route to loneliness and sperm dilution. In their minds, the blame for all of the world's evils lies squarely upon slutty women, cuckolds, and the great globalist cabal. Add to this stewpot the dire reality that almost all work for pay is horrendous drudgery. Teamwork? That's Bulls**tese for a pyramid scheme designed to fool suckers into providing enthusiastic labor for a greedy fat cat who vacations in Aruba and is on his third trophy wife. Attitude? That's the term the corporate zombies who control your life use to gaslight you into believing you didn't work hard enough when you are downsized. Commitment? That's what you are supposed to give endlessly to your boss without the faintest hope that you'll receive the basics of yesteryear in return: health insurance, vacations, the ability to afford a small, modest home. If you do land a job where you are taken care of, expect to trade no less than your immortal soul for your prosperity: the more you make, the more people are gunning for your position and the more you have to spend to fit in with others of your high class.
Now combine all of the aforementioned sludge with profound religious ignorance. I truly hope Christianity of the old fashioned stripe such as Old Skool Catholicism and Greek Orthodoxy makes a big comeback, because we need all of the exorcists and Christian mystics we can get right now. I hope the yoga people who have been thrown out of their suburban studios because of silly COVID rules head to the forests and start talking with the trees. I hope the vegan atheist Instagram witches get sick of personal and political blowback and start becoming serious Manly P. Hall quoting occultists. I argue that we need people interested in non-Harry Potter, antiseptic magic and prayer more than we need permaculturists and green wizards, and we need permaculturists and green wizards quite badly.
I'm doing what I can. Though because of my business, I must keep abreast of the politics that affect me, I have largely removed myself from politics and politicking. I recently did a big double hoodoo vacuum of my Studio (not a floor wash because it's got lots of carpeting) and I'll do a series of blessings on it in the following weeks. I'm praying and playing Orphic hymns every day. I'm wearing a red bag amulet. Making charms for around the house. Cups of vinegar and bowls of salt. Please pray for me that my measures will be adequate.
I took a hoodoo bath immediately upon rising, deeper than usual, which was a rude wake up call. (I've gotten soft due to my lifestyle of modern suburban luxury.) The bath seemed to dislodge the Thing that wanted to go for a ride. During that morning's Sphere of Protection, I saw it ushered back to the Abyss by two tall figures and a third in the background.
Despite doing the Sphere of Protection every day for nearly three years, discursive meditation for over three years, daily prayer, and divination, I still have scary bouts on the astral. Approximately three weeks ago, another entity slimed me in much the same manner as today.
I had my first vivid astral travel experience/lucid dream around the age of four. The experience was remarkably similar to this morning's hagging. Just as some people naturally draw mosquitoes more than others, I draw incorporeal entities of all sorts. This was the case when I was raised Christian, when I became Wiccan as a teen, when I discarded Wicca for a long stint of atheism, and it is still the case now as I study Druidry. Nothing has truly changed about my attractiveness to entities fair and foul except my ability to shield myself via Druid rituals and mind-strengthening, and for that shielding I am eternally grateful.
The abilities I have with unseen beings can often be of great comfort and a source of happiness: because of my natural ability to communicate with the unseen, I have been able to assist dead loved ones and friends with crossing over. I walk into the forest preserve and I get the same rush a natural extrovert gets from walking into a crowded party -- I talk to trees, houses, bodies of water, patches of air, and I'm beginning to be able to talk to certain animals. Sensitivity, I have learned, is a balance. I have always been extremely sensitive and only Druidry got through to me enough so I could learn to harness it.
I'm not alone in my sensitivity, of course, but I am one of the lucky few sensitives who was in the right time at the right place. Druidry was my saving grace; Christianity simply didn't work for me and I have no passion for Eastern religions such as Shintoism or the practice of yoga. Sensitives like me tend to get sucked into believing we are "star children" or worse, being lured into atheist demonolatry with its edgelord posturing and improvised black candle spells.
Both the Rhonda Byrne-esque positivity movement and atheist "witches" have much to answer for in the current state of the astral plane. We are in an astral cesspool. Banishing ritual or not, there is precious little between us and a boiling bog of eternal stench. The Professional Managerial set and atheist warlocks/witches have chosen to swim through without even the benefit of a raft. Antifa/BLM and the Magic Resistance gleefully slide down the chute to the sewers with their foul toxic feminism, their inability to discriminate a blunt hammer applied to public discourse (their penchant for gaslighting and foul language), protests (riots), and magic (demonolatry). On the other side, toxic masculinity bleats about the importance of reseeding and restoring Christendom, never understanding that wasting away in front of a computer screen is perhaps the best possible route to loneliness and sperm dilution. In their minds, the blame for all of the world's evils lies squarely upon slutty women, cuckolds, and the great globalist cabal. Add to this stewpot the dire reality that almost all work for pay is horrendous drudgery. Teamwork? That's Bulls**tese for a pyramid scheme designed to fool suckers into providing enthusiastic labor for a greedy fat cat who vacations in Aruba and is on his third trophy wife. Attitude? That's the term the corporate zombies who control your life use to gaslight you into believing you didn't work hard enough when you are downsized. Commitment? That's what you are supposed to give endlessly to your boss without the faintest hope that you'll receive the basics of yesteryear in return: health insurance, vacations, the ability to afford a small, modest home. If you do land a job where you are taken care of, expect to trade no less than your immortal soul for your prosperity: the more you make, the more people are gunning for your position and the more you have to spend to fit in with others of your high class.
Now combine all of the aforementioned sludge with profound religious ignorance. I truly hope Christianity of the old fashioned stripe such as Old Skool Catholicism and Greek Orthodoxy makes a big comeback, because we need all of the exorcists and Christian mystics we can get right now. I hope the yoga people who have been thrown out of their suburban studios because of silly COVID rules head to the forests and start talking with the trees. I hope the vegan atheist Instagram witches get sick of personal and political blowback and start becoming serious Manly P. Hall quoting occultists. I argue that we need people interested in non-Harry Potter, antiseptic magic and prayer more than we need permaculturists and green wizards, and we need permaculturists and green wizards quite badly.
I'm doing what I can. Though because of my business, I must keep abreast of the politics that affect me, I have largely removed myself from politics and politicking. I recently did a big double hoodoo vacuum of my Studio (not a floor wash because it's got lots of carpeting) and I'll do a series of blessings on it in the following weeks. I'm praying and playing Orphic hymns every day. I'm wearing a red bag amulet. Making charms for around the house. Cups of vinegar and bowls of salt. Please pray for me that my measures will be adequate.
Re: Sensitivities
I'm just beginning to get into herbs. Herbal medicine is night and day from allopathic medicine. What's interesting about it is how it crosses borders: soup is technically herbal medicine, and so is herb tea. Allopathic medicine seeks to remove or burn out the offending lesion; they always want to either amputate a body part or blitzkrieg it.
Re: Sensitivities
Of course, I'm not a doc and all the fine print that goes with that, but what you describe does have some elements that sound endometriosis-like. I had some of that going on as well, but with the opposite digestive problem, when I was younger. Went away with the first pregnancy and never came back. I joke that if anyone had told me that was the cure, I'd have seriously considered teen motherhood... though I've read it doesn't work that way for everyone.
I view it as a net positive: it was horrible at the time, but it was sort of a 15-year course in dealing with pain. I was forced to ditch NSAIDs due to (drumroll) digestive side-effects and tinnitus, as well as increasing tolerance. I discovered the pain-relief wonders of running water, basically invented my own meditation practice, and learned some useful tidbits for dealing with nausea. After all that, unmedicated childbirth was a breeze. I remember holding my first son, still squeaking, and telling my husband, with some surprise: "That wasn't so bad. I've had periods that were worse."
I've only ever dealt with the constipation episodically: kicked off by pregnancy and antibiotics. But episodes last anywhere from a couple months to a couple years. I can't imagine having to live with it as a chronic problem! I have definitely had to give up dairy for long stretches to get it under control. I don't know what it is about milk, but it is not kind to sluggish guts.
Re: Sensitivities
When I had a surgery for uterine polyps, my doctor (also my surgeon) was shocked not to find a trace of endometriosis. I did have a bunch of tendons that wound me up tight down there. Between that and my hormonal composition, it is likely what caused the excessive cramps. I do feel that kind of pain was a learning experience. I'm not afraid of pain and I have that era to thank.
Re: Sensitivities
Re: Sensitivities