I think the keys to stopping yourself from cursing are in the "see the forest for the trees" realm.
For one, if you want to stop cursing, it's a good move to literally stop cursing, meaning trim your language to exclude curse words like s**t, f**k, c**t, and so many other ubiquitous modern swear words that were not heard outside of sailing ships and truck stops sixty years ago.
Another big one is learning to understand that when you curse someone, even by accident, it is a way of pretending you're to good to resemble them. Always look for the shadow you're projecting. I used to project a great deal of hatred towards thirsty celebrities. I finally got smart enough to look at the areas of my life where I have acted thirsty and desperate. "He who has no sin, cast the first stone" comes to mind here. The Bible isn't always the most reliable collection of documents, but when it comes to golden nuggets like that one, it's advice you can take all the way to the bank!
As for the anger, I have always had an inappropriate amount of anger considering I was born in peacetime, lived a sheltered, luxurious existence, and was not abused as a child. I believe my anger has come from being incarnated less than a decade from my previous death. All of the entitlement and conflict I did not work out from my last existence as a rich widow got carried over into my tormented childhood (again, it was not tormented because of abuse). I have often shared how I believe one of my incarnations was a Vlad the Impaler sort of serial killer and how that instinct never truly goes away. Dealing with that karma is not pleasant, of course, and it has taken a great deal of honest work on myself in order to understand the tiniest bit of what that legacy entails.
Fascinating! I would have never thought to think about the occult significance of swear words. I mean, it's so ubiquitous nowadays, especially here in England. And yet... these words retain their power.
I've just had another Eureka moment, about your mention of thirsty celebrities (I have to thank you again Kimberly, 3rd Eureka spark from you this week!) I have a, what seems to me to be a visceral, obsessive and highly irritating dislike of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Irritating because despite my solemn promises to myself to just ignore them, they never fail to trigger me with every new stunt. They make the press here in the UK almost daily, so they are difficult to ignore. Now I see I need to meditate on the shadow I am projecting on those two. Oh boy. Not looking forward to what I am set to learn here...
Finally, I am going to trawl through your posts to learn about your previous incarnations, I am very curious! (I was definitely a cat somewhere in the past, curiosity is my vice and virtue all in one). Hope to find not only descriptions of your previous life/lives but also how you started remembering them.
One last question: Did you find that your magical practices helped you to control your emotions/actions/thoughts etc and if so, how long have you been practicing? I am experiencing significant results in little less than a year, but have a long, long way to go.
May I offer you a blessing with my thanks from England. Miow
Thanks! I used to swear just like anybody else in Gen X. I'm glad I got over the habit. I never realized how ugly my language had become until I stopped swearing. I'll still utter a choice word or two if I drop something heavy on my foot though. I'm far from perfect.
In your defense, it is ridiculous how every antic from Meghan and Harry is shoved in people's faces. They are all over the rag mags here for reasons I will never understand. They are an obvious bread & circuses style distraction so Brits pay less attention to their sky high gas bills, inflation, quaxxine deaths, plummeting birth rates, and war.
From what I remember, I was a goose at least once. I was a cat many times, and it was not easy to be a cat. I was maimed as a cat more times than I can count in horrible ways, killed, skinned, and worn as a cap, and all sorts of injustices. I did have at least one pampered cat existence though where I was loved and cherished by a wonderful human cat mom, so that was nice.
When I was incarnated as a serial killer, it was during a time (not sure when) when warlords were serial killers as accepted practice. Pretty sure the serial killer was Scottish or whatever Scotland was called waaaay back in the day. He was fond of letting prisoners rot in his oubliette. That wasn't the only thing he did to people, of course. He was truly sick.
After that, and I sadly don't know when this was, I was incarnated as a mentally handicapped boy in whatever Germany was called or somewhere near there. The boy's father was exceptionally loving, patient, strict, and musical. He is the one who first taught his child (despite the child being stubborn and nearly impossible to teach) how to hear tones and music. He is the one who planted the seed for me to become a musician in this life and in other lifetimes.
After that, I was incarnated as a traveling troubadour. "Robert" was a comedian and could do weird tricks, such as farting on command. Robert had "one in every port", meaning he was a lothario and would seduce women wherever he went because he was good looking/cute. I believe it was during the troubadour life that Robert disparaged music teachers out of arrogance. This created bad karma for my soul that lasted several lifetimes. Robert's troubadour life ended at the end of a noose around the age of 40. He pissed off one too many people and got one too many burgomaster's daughters pregnant.
Sometime in the 18th century, I was reincarnated as Peter the Singing Sailor. Peter was an ugly little dude. Nobody wanted to marry him because he was poor, short as hell, and ugly. His singing was great though. He went off on an underfunded sailing ship from Portugal and never returned. He died at sea, cursing God as he starved to death and shriveled up.
I was incarnated as people who starved to death a couple more times after that, both times in or near Russia and both times the incarnations died before the age of 14. I believe that I went through starvation because of the warlord's for starving people in the oubliette as a Scottish laird/king. He could have just put them to death instead of torturing them.
I was a man who lived during the time of the French revolution. He spent his life in France and England. He was unhappily married and lived in a rat trap of a building with his wife. They had almost no money. He did not reach an old age, though I am not sure how he died.
Most recently, I was incarnated as a wealthy Victorian girl who became an extremely wealthy woman. I believe her name was either Vera or Esther or perhaps both, such as first and middle. Vera was pretty and petite and to a great degree got by on her looks. She was trained to become a teacher and taught for a little while in a school. She married well. Her first husband gave her two sons and they were the light of her life. She was a good mother, and though they were pampered, they were good boys brought up with discipline and order. Those lights got snuffed out in one of the World Wars. I believe it was WWI but it could have been as late as WWII. Both of her sons were pilots/air men who got shot out of the sky. When they never returned, she was broken. The father of the boys died and she remarried. She married for money and comfort, not for love. All the nice stuff, new clothes, travel, and perks of being rich could not heal her heart. Second husband died and she was done with marriage. The last memory I have of her is going on a cruise, stylish, lovely, and completely bitter and sad.
There may have been a few other lifetimes peppered in there but that is the jist of it. I started incarnating as a human about a thousand years ago, give or take. What's odd is that I had memories of these people when I was 12 (Vera came to me in a vision when I was morbidly depressed one night, I did not know who she was) and Robert the Troubadour came to me in a vision when I was 15. Again, I had no idea who he was. I drew a picture of him in a sketchbook that sadly is long lost.
I had been meditating for about 3 years every day and doing the SoP when memories started making themselves apparent. Sometimes it was during the SoP itself; that's when Peter the Singing Sailor came through. Other times, they came through during discursive meditation. I have been doing the SoP since the beginning of January 2017 and I have been doing discursive meditation every day since sometime in 2016. I have definitely gotten to the root of a lot of my anger which does help to control it. Much of it was based in fear of being thrown into poverty and homelessness, fear of being humiliated, or feeling that I was slighted by someone I could not forgive.
I rushed to my phone with my morning coffee to see whether you'd replied :) Again: fascinating! And double ouch re. that serial killer warlord. I believe that our interest in loving and caring for "our" cats must have some occult aspect to it. I wonder whether anyone has written on that topic? I mean, I have dog companions too and love them dearly. But my relationship with the cats in my life is significantly different. I have never thought of them as pets, for instance. There's just something about cats that sets them apart, and the whole world recognises it. How people react to that recognition tells a lot about them, don't you think? Of course you do, look at your incarnations!
I am bracing myself for the day I start remembering past lives, if I ever do. Do you also do any Scrying?
As to why Harry and Meghan are plastered all over, paid PR of course. Paid for Awards too. She is a big fan of The Secret and to be fair, look what she has manifested for herself. I'm just not convinced that either of them believe in paying the price for what they get. Your recent post documenting a conversation among lefty witches saying that karma only exist for those who believe in it, comes to mind...And you are absolutely correct, of course it's a matter of bread and circuses for us here in poor old Blighty. On that point: I am planning to blog on the ongoing collapse over here. It's fraying around the seams very rapidly. Following your advice, the theme will be on finding the pearls for gratitude in there, and also how I as an average working class slob manage my own collapsing in place. With added cats of course.
I am in that club! I like dogs, but cats are far more special. Cats also tend to be hated and targeted more frequently than dogs, usually by males.
I have done a little scrying. I have plans to do more "pathworking" style scrying at some point.
Ugh, Meghan pushes The Secret? Ewww. She is pretty on the outside but to anyone with eyes beyond the physical, she is absolutely hideous. Sleazy... Ick.
That sounds like a blog I would read! There are very few people talking about the decay and decline all around us. That's one of the reasons why I started reading JMG's blogs so many years ago. I found out about JMG via James Howard Kunstler's blog. It was refreshing to see someone who could honestly speak about the mess all around. Another favorite of mine is Nick Johnson on Youtube -- he talks about America's best and worst places to live and he doesn't hold back. I also tend to watch channels documenting dead shopping malls.
Hello, Kimberly! I'm also subscribed to Nick Johnson's channel and am truly saddened at the state of our nation. A young man that I've known since he was a child who now has a thriving lawn / landscaping business down here in Florida posted a story on social media about a guy trying to trade some heroin for fuel for a weed eater! Every now and then I watch videos from Russia, where the hosts just walk around certain cities such as Moscow, and one can't help but notice how clean the cities are. One channel is RussiaPlus and another is Zangieff. They're interesting! The streets are garbage, graffiti and excrement free, no tents lining the sidewalks and highways... Either they're better at hiding a homeless problem or they just don't put up with it and/or provide better services? And the pedestrians are trim and well dressed. I don't buy into any of the Russia hate and while I know their president is no angel, it appears that they're proud of their country - something that we've lost along the way.
I would have a great deal more respect for Russians if more of them had stood up against the quaxxines. It is estimated that somewhere around half of Russians got the quaxx. Congolese Africans have some of the lowest population rates in the world, and Western Africans in general seem to have avoided the quax and presumably the hype. Good for them, because it's probably going to be up to them to repopulate the human race in a few hundred years. As much as this country is falling apart (don't I know it, I live in ILLINOIS, for heaven's sake, I am here in the front lines) there were large factions of us in the US who stood against the quaxxines despite a great deal of pressure. If we had not done so from the beginning, most of the US would have gone the way of New Zealand, Australia, Germany, and Canada. There's something to be said for the stubborn and ugly People of Walmart. Since the quaxx's egregore is intertwined with salary class aspirations and is a way of saying to Mammon and Paimon "I will do whatever it takes to be in your exclusive country club", Americans of the downwardly-mobile sort represented the staunchest part of the resistance.
So many on the right seem to idolize Putin as some kind of savior of Europe, yet these same people who theoretically are anti-mandate overlook Putin's jab mandates.
Do you remember years ago, sometime in the early 2010s when Ebola was in West Africa, and how people like Bill Gates were trying to "save Africa from Ebola?" And do you remember how after a point the Africans were attacking Gates people accusing them of spreading disease and not curing it?
I remember thinking "How terrible, these people are so panicked and confused, and so supersititious that they're going to drive away the people who could save them."
Today, I have to ask myself instead "What did those people see and what did they know that we didn't? Why did I assume that they didn't have a very good reason for suspecting that the Gates types were up to no good?"
I note that you refer to these past lives as other people who are not yourself. In many cases when I hear people describe past lives, I hear them say "In this life I did this thing" whereas you describe it as "In this life they did that thing". How come you to think of it in this way?
I personally have no particular reason to believe I've had a past life. I sometimes wonder if instead I've had a future life. Or the same life. I know that over the course of time I feel like in my younger days I've received messages from future me. However all these messages come from "future" me who is younger than I am currently. This is somewhat disconcerting as I think on it.
On meditating about the possibilities of a past existence, I have only the faintest of glimmers and cannot guarantee that it isn't simply influenced by media.
I had to parse out a great deal of media influences when I looked into my past lives. It's actually very good to analyze the media you have seen (movies, TV, internet, novels, etc.) in order to understand where it may be infiltrating your imagination. There is a great deal of "sifting for gold" in discursive meditation. Discursive meditation is often plodding, methodical, seemingly redundant work. Success, just like in musicianship, comes only from relentless practice.
I think of my past lives as different people because though we all have a common thread, they truly are not me as Kimberly Steele. There are lots of habits from those lives (serial murder, for instance) that I don't choose to do anymore, so I try to make the distinction as clear as possible not just for others, but to remind myself I can grow from experience.
I get flashes from my future lives fairly frequently. For whatever reason, they come as readily as flashes from my past lives.
"I believe my anger has come from being incarnated less than a decade from my previous death. All of the entitlement and conflict I did not work out from my last existence as a rich widow got carried over into my tormented childhood (again, it was not tormented because of abuse)"
I suspect something similar has happened with me, although I can't remember my most recent past life. I have nostalgia for a time I've never lived in, a sense of existential depression or hopelessness not really justified by my childhood or external living conditions, and a hesitance around unrelated women I can maybe chalk up to upbringing but maybe not; I picked up reading and mathematical concepts very early in life, even accounting for parental encouragement in these areas; and I always referred to myself in the third person - avoiding all first-person pronouns - until close to my...seventh birthday. (My parents assume I stopped because of my first-grade teacher, but it felt more like some switch was pressed in my mind and I was suddenly "allowed" to say "I/me/mine".
(I'm suspecting I died in the prime of life - perhaps in Vietnam, given the timing, which would have meant 15-ish years out of incarnation and my 6th house Chiron suggesting I have wounds in the area of "service", and I'm pretty sure I was a male in my past life for the simple reason that although I've had identity dysphoria, gender dysphoria has never come into it.)
Edited (adding on 6th house stuff) 2022-12-02 04:04 (UTC)
I feel you on identity dysphoria, Brendhelm. I felt like a Victorian relic at age six. I was the only 12 year old who enjoyed diagramming sentences in junior high, and this has much to do with the fact my former incarnation spent a decent amount of her time on the planet as a schoolteacher. My former incarnation seems to have had a ton of anger that went nearly completely unresolved -- it seems to have been my job in this life to deal with that homicidal/suicidal/genocidal fury. She was angry at the forces of the world, especially the politicians who made the war that took her two sons. She was angry and sad at the loss of her faith in God. She was angry at herself for espousing one set of moral values in theory and another in practice: she didn't believe in marrying for money, but she did it anyway, and more than once.
You might try looking at some photos or videos from Vietnam in the era when you were there. Sometimes I look at Google maps randomly and it spurs lots of strange emotions. Some of the places seem to invoke the past whereas some others seem to foretell where I will live in future lives.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: Thank you
I think the keys to stopping yourself from cursing are in the "see the forest for the trees" realm.
For one, if you want to stop cursing, it's a good move to literally stop cursing, meaning trim your language to exclude curse words like s**t, f**k, c**t, and so many other ubiquitous modern swear words that were not heard outside of sailing ships and truck stops sixty years ago.
Another big one is learning to understand that when you curse someone, even by accident, it is a way of pretending you're to good to resemble them. Always look for the shadow you're projecting. I used to project a great deal of hatred towards thirsty celebrities. I finally got smart enough to look at the areas of my life where I have acted thirsty and desperate. "He who has no sin, cast the first stone" comes to mind here. The Bible isn't always the most reliable collection of documents, but when it comes to golden nuggets like that one, it's advice you can take all the way to the bank!
As for the anger, I have always had an inappropriate amount of anger considering I was born in peacetime, lived a sheltered, luxurious existence, and was not abused as a child. I believe my anger has come from being incarnated less than a decade from my previous death. All of the entitlement and conflict I did not work out from my last existence as a rich widow got carried over into my tormented childhood (again, it was not tormented because of abuse). I have often shared how I believe one of my incarnations was a Vlad the Impaler sort of serial killer and how that instinct never truly goes away. Dealing with that karma is not pleasant, of course, and it has taken a great deal of honest work on myself in order to understand the tiniest bit of what that legacy entails.
Re: Thank you
I've just had another Eureka moment, about your mention of thirsty celebrities (I have to thank you again Kimberly, 3rd Eureka spark from you this week!) I have a, what seems to me to be a visceral, obsessive and highly irritating dislike of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Irritating because despite my solemn promises to myself to just ignore them, they never fail to trigger me with every new stunt. They make the press here in the UK almost daily, so they are difficult to ignore. Now I see I need to meditate on the shadow I am projecting on those two. Oh boy. Not looking forward to what I am set to learn here...
Finally, I am going to trawl through your posts to learn about your previous incarnations, I am very curious! (I was definitely a cat somewhere in the past, curiosity is my vice and virtue all in one). Hope to find not only descriptions of your previous life/lives but also how you started remembering them.
One last question: Did you find that your magical practices helped you to control your emotions/actions/thoughts etc and if so, how long have you been practicing? I am experiencing significant results in little less than a year, but have a long, long way to go.
May I offer you a blessing with my thanks from England.
Miow
Re: Thank you
In your defense, it is ridiculous how every antic from Meghan and Harry is shoved in people's faces. They are all over the rag mags here for reasons I will never understand. They are an obvious bread & circuses style distraction so Brits pay less attention to their sky high gas bills, inflation, quaxxine deaths, plummeting birth rates, and war.
From what I remember, I was a goose at least once. I was a cat many times, and it was not easy to be a cat. I was maimed as a cat more times than I can count in horrible ways, killed, skinned, and worn as a cap, and all sorts of injustices. I did have at least one pampered cat existence though where I was loved and cherished by a wonderful human cat mom, so that was nice.
When I was incarnated as a serial killer, it was during a time (not sure when) when warlords were serial killers as accepted practice. Pretty sure the serial killer was Scottish or whatever Scotland was called waaaay back in the day. He was fond of letting prisoners rot in his oubliette. That wasn't the only thing he did to people, of course. He was truly sick.
After that, and I sadly don't know when this was, I was incarnated as a mentally handicapped boy in whatever Germany was called or somewhere near there. The boy's father was exceptionally loving, patient, strict, and musical. He is the one who first taught his child (despite the child being stubborn and nearly impossible to teach) how to hear tones and music. He is the one who planted the seed for me to become a musician in this life and in other lifetimes.
After that, I was incarnated as a traveling troubadour. "Robert" was a comedian and could do weird tricks, such as farting on command. Robert had "one in every port", meaning he was a lothario and would seduce women wherever he went because he was good looking/cute. I believe it was during the troubadour life that Robert disparaged music teachers out of arrogance. This created bad karma for my soul that lasted several lifetimes. Robert's troubadour life ended at the end of a noose around the age of 40. He pissed off one too many people and got one too many burgomaster's daughters pregnant.
Sometime in the 18th century, I was reincarnated as Peter the Singing Sailor. Peter was an ugly little dude. Nobody wanted to marry him because he was poor, short as hell, and ugly. His singing was great though. He went off on an underfunded sailing ship from Portugal and never returned. He died at sea, cursing God as he starved to death and shriveled up.
I was incarnated as people who starved to death a couple more times after that, both times in or near Russia and both times the incarnations died before the age of 14. I believe that I went through starvation because of the warlord's for starving people in the oubliette as a Scottish laird/king. He could have just put them to death instead of torturing them.
I was a man who lived during the time of the French revolution. He spent his life in France and England. He was unhappily married and lived in a rat trap of a building with his wife. They had almost no money. He did not reach an old age, though I am not sure how he died.
Most recently, I was incarnated as a wealthy Victorian girl who became an extremely wealthy woman. I believe her name was either Vera or Esther or perhaps both, such as first and middle. Vera was pretty and petite and to a great degree got by on her looks. She was trained to become a teacher and taught for a little while in a school. She married well. Her first husband gave her two sons and they were the light of her life. She was a good mother, and though they were pampered, they were good boys brought up with discipline and order. Those lights got snuffed out in one of the World Wars. I believe it was WWI but it could have been as late as WWII. Both of her sons were pilots/air men who got shot out of the sky. When they never returned, she was broken. The father of the boys died and she remarried. She married for money and comfort, not for love. All the nice stuff, new clothes, travel, and perks of being rich could not heal her heart. Second husband died and she was done with marriage. The last memory I have of her is going on a cruise, stylish, lovely, and completely bitter and sad.
There may have been a few other lifetimes peppered in there but that is the jist of it. I started incarnating as a human about a thousand years ago, give or take. What's odd is that I had memories of these people when I was 12 (Vera came to me in a vision when I was morbidly depressed one night, I did not know who she was) and Robert the Troubadour came to me in a vision when I was 15. Again, I had no idea who he was. I drew a picture of him in a sketchbook that sadly is long lost.
I had been meditating for about 3 years every day and doing the SoP when memories started making themselves apparent. Sometimes it was during the SoP itself; that's when Peter the Singing Sailor came through. Other times, they came through during discursive meditation. I have been doing the SoP since the beginning of January 2017 and I have been doing discursive meditation every day since sometime in 2016. I have definitely gotten to the root of a lot of my anger which does help to control it. Much of it was based in fear of being thrown into poverty and homelessness, fear of being humiliated, or feeling that I was slighted by someone I could not forgive.
Reincarnation
I am bracing myself for the day I start remembering past lives, if I ever do. Do you also do any Scrying?
As to why Harry and Meghan are plastered all over, paid PR of course. Paid for Awards too. She is a big fan of The Secret and to be fair, look what she has manifested for herself. I'm just not convinced that either of them believe in paying the price for what they get. Your recent post documenting a conversation among lefty witches saying that karma only exist for those who believe in it, comes to mind...And you are absolutely correct, of course it's a matter of bread and circuses for us here in poor old Blighty.
On that point: I am planning to blog on the ongoing collapse over here. It's fraying around the seams very rapidly. Following your advice, the theme will be on finding the pearls for gratitude in there, and also how I as an average working class slob manage my own collapsing in place. With added cats of course.
Re: Reincarnation
I have done a little scrying. I have plans to do more "pathworking" style scrying at some point.
Ugh, Meghan pushes The Secret? Ewww. She is pretty on the outside but to anyone with eyes beyond the physical, she is absolutely hideous. Sleazy... Ick.
That sounds like a blog I would read! There are very few people talking about the decay and decline all around us. That's one of the reasons why I started reading JMG's blogs so many years ago. I found out about JMG via James Howard Kunstler's blog. It was refreshing to see someone who could honestly speak about the mess all around. Another favorite of mine is Nick Johnson on Youtube -- he talks about America's best and worst places to live and he doesn't hold back. I also tend to watch channels documenting dead shopping malls.
Re: Reincarnation
(Anonymous) 2022-12-02 01:05 am (UTC)(link)I'm also subscribed to Nick Johnson's channel and am truly saddened at the state of our nation. A young man that I've known since he was a child who now has a thriving lawn / landscaping business down here in Florida posted a story on social media about a guy trying to trade some heroin for fuel for a weed eater!
Every now and then I watch videos from Russia, where the hosts just walk around certain cities such as Moscow, and one can't help but notice how clean the cities are. One channel is RussiaPlus and another is Zangieff. They're interesting! The streets are garbage, graffiti and excrement free, no tents lining the sidewalks and highways... Either they're better at hiding a homeless problem or they just don't put up with it and/or provide better services? And the pedestrians are trim and well dressed.
I don't buy into any of the Russia hate and while I know their president is no angel, it appears that they're proud of their country - something that we've lost along the way.
Colleen
Re: Reincarnation
Re: Reincarnation
(Anonymous) 2022-12-07 02:04 am (UTC)(link)Do you remember years ago, sometime in the early 2010s when Ebola was in West Africa, and how people like Bill Gates were trying to "save Africa from Ebola?" And do you remember how after a point the Africans were attacking Gates people accusing them of spreading disease and not curing it?
I remember thinking "How terrible, these people are so panicked and confused, and so supersititious that they're going to drive away the people who could save them."
Today, I have to ask myself instead "What did those people see and what did they know that we didn't? Why did I assume that they didn't have a very good reason for suspecting that the Gates types were up to no good?"
Re: Thank you
(Anonymous) 2022-12-07 05:46 am (UTC)(link)I personally have no particular reason to believe I've had a past life. I sometimes wonder if instead I've had a future life. Or the same life. I know that over the course of time I feel like in my younger days I've received messages from future me. However all these messages come from "future" me who is younger than I am currently. This is somewhat disconcerting as I think on it.
On meditating about the possibilities of a past existence, I have only the faintest of glimmers and cannot guarantee that it isn't simply influenced by media.
Re: Thank you
I think of my past lives as different people because though we all have a common thread, they truly are not me as Kimberly Steele. There are lots of habits from those lives (serial murder, for instance) that I don't choose to do anymore, so I try to make the distinction as clear as possible not just for others, but to remind myself I can grow from experience.
I get flashes from my future lives fairly frequently. For whatever reason, they come as readily as flashes from my past lives.
Re: Thank you
I suspect something similar has happened with me, although I can't remember my most recent past life. I have nostalgia for a time I've never lived in, a sense of existential depression or hopelessness not really justified by my childhood or external living conditions, and a hesitance around unrelated women I can maybe chalk up to upbringing but maybe not; I picked up reading and mathematical concepts very early in life, even accounting for parental encouragement in these areas; and I always referred to myself in the third person - avoiding all first-person pronouns - until close to my...seventh birthday. (My parents assume I stopped because of my first-grade teacher, but it felt more like some switch was pressed in my mind and I was suddenly "allowed" to say "I/me/mine".
(I'm suspecting I died in the prime of life - perhaps in Vietnam, given the timing, which would have meant 15-ish years out of incarnation and my 6th house Chiron suggesting I have wounds in the area of "service", and I'm pretty sure I was a male in my past life for the simple reason that although I've had identity dysphoria, gender dysphoria has never come into it.)
Re: Thank you
You might try looking at some photos or videos from Vietnam in the era when you were there. Sometimes I look at Google maps randomly and it spurs lots of strange emotions. Some of the places seem to invoke the past whereas some others seem to foretell where I will live in future lives.