My mom was a working class Baby Boomer who got married shortly after high school. While many of her peers were out having all kinds of fun, she was stuck home with an abusive husband and screaming children. She always seemed angry and stressed, so strict. She had good reasons for it. Looking back I think she wanted us to grow up in a hurry so she could move to work she enjoyed more. She loved us, she was just better at providing than mothering. She eventually earned college degrees and a successful career. My relationship with her improved greatly when I grew up and moved out.
When I became an adult I chose freedom and flexibility instead of marriage, children, or career. It may look selfish to some people but I probably would have been a bad wife and mother. Way too much unhealed baggage. It would be nice if the stigma for not having kids went away too. Some people really aren't meant to be parents. Parenting well takes a lot of skill and strength...what would happen if people were more honest about that?
Thank you for your thought provoking post. It's such an important topic...as a society, we are doing awful things to our kids. We're not so good at supporting parents, either.
Boomer mom
My mom was a working class Baby Boomer who got married shortly after high school. While many of her peers were out having all kinds of fun, she was stuck home with an abusive husband and screaming children. She always seemed angry and stressed, so strict. She had good reasons for it. Looking back I think she wanted us to grow up in a hurry so she could move to work she enjoyed more. She loved us, she was just better at providing than mothering. She eventually earned college degrees and a successful career. My relationship with her improved greatly when I grew up and moved out.
When I became an adult I chose freedom and flexibility instead of marriage, children, or career. It may look selfish to some people but I probably would have been a bad wife and mother. Way too much unhealed baggage. It would be nice if the stigma for not having kids went away too. Some people really aren't meant to be parents. Parenting well takes a lot of skill and strength...what would happen if people were more honest about that?
Thank you for your thought provoking post. It's such an important topic...as a society, we are doing awful things to our kids. We're not so good at supporting parents, either.